AI 9 2-16-10 Hollywood Week Big Reveal Part 1

Tonight there will be drama, tears and the crescendo to Hollywood Week. The contestants will have one final time to prove themselves. Decisions will be made, dreams will be realized, it is Hollywood’s pivotal moment and this is AMERICAN IDOL!

We have a two hour time frame for tonight’s episode which means there is probably an hour’s worth of actual show with the rest of the time filled with commercials or teasers as to what is about to happen. I am so excited – NOT!

Imagine the leap of faith these contestants have taken to leave their jobs, their families, and their homes to travel to Hollywood. Our final 71 start their day with the routine of Hollywood including breakfast and then rehearsals for their final chance at proving they could be the next American Idol.

The contestants will get one chance to perform with a full band but the judges will not be proving any feedback after the performances.

It is 8:00 p.m. and the judges are deliberating their choices. The judges have rendered their decision and the contestants are broken up into three separate groups. These groups are then placed in three different rooms. 71 lives are on the line who will survive and who will be the next American Idol.

I love how Ryan constantly teases the audience about their favorites leaving. Excuse me! How can we have favorites when we have barely heard the majority actually sing? I am extremely interested in who will be in the top 24 but there is no one who is my favorite at this point.

I will skip over all the drama being built up about which room will be going home and just discuss the contestants we actually get to hear snippets of vocal performances.

Angela Martin provides a rousing performance of “American Boy”. I saw the spark of what type of performer she might make.

The producers editing puts Jermaine Sellers in a very bad light by laying blame on the band. Given how early in the season we are and Jermaine you have not yet won the diva behavior is simply out of place. I noticed the editor’s show Kara and Randy saying “do not throw the band under the bus”. To borrow from Randy Jackson, I found this performance “pitchy”.

Casey James while seriously needing a personality change really has a nice voice. I really enjoyed his performance of “Bubbly”.

Siobhan Magnus sings “Living for the City” in her final audition and I really like her voice. There is a very nice tone and she knows how to enunciate. There is something about her, which rubs me wrong, but she has talent, which I cannot deny.

Crystal Bowersox sings, “If it makes you happy” while playing both the guitar and harmonica. Overall, the performance was good but she was unable to hit any of the high notes.

Alex Lambert clearly needs to throw away the ukulele, which is bringing him down. We finally get to hear more of his performance from day one, which was not great, and let us try to forget his crash and burn as part of “The Dreamers” group. I did though enjoy his performance of “I’m yours”. I would have enjoyed it more without the ukulele but we were finally able to hear his vocals. There is some raw talent hidden inside and through maturity and practice could be successful.

Michael Lynche “Big Mike” also goes with “I’m yours”. Unlike some of the other performances, I have heard from him this was just okay. We can only hope the entire body of his auditions will help him through to the top 24.

Todrick Hall sings, “I’m yours” as well. I think Todrick demonstrated good vocal control and he changed the number up a bit as well. I enjoyed his performance better then “Big Mike’s”.

Thaddeus Johnson blew me away with his performance of “Man in the Mirror”. The vocals were outstanding. It takes a brave kid to shout out on national television he is a momma’s boy. Thaddeus’s mother is cool.

Charity Vance goes with “Gravity” and it was okay but there was no wow.

Tasha Layton chooses “The Scientist” as her final audition song and she definitely has some very good pipes. I really liked how she re-worked this song.

Mary “I am crazed with” Powers continues to demonstrate inappropriate diva behavior and thoroughly annoys me by sounding so freaking arrogant. I am sorry this is not live so I can call and tell her to get over herself. Mary performs “Hot N Cold” which stunk to high heaven. Mary had no breath control while singing. Mary was shouting versus singing and her pitch was off and on so much I was getting an earache.

Lloyd Thomas performs “Man in the Mirror” and I did not find him to be a strong singer. In addition, he broke the cardinal rule of forgetting the lyrics. These contestants never learn, write the damn lyrics on your hand or arm for heaven sakes.

Brian Walker who we see very briefly and what I heard really did not impress me much.

Hope Johnson clearly does not understand how this audition process works. She chooses a song, which American Idol used one season as the contestant’s goodbye song. Yes, she goes with Daughtry’s “Home”. Do you really want to sing to the judges “I’m going home”? This is an idiotic decision. On top of it, she was so off-key it was scary.

Shelby Dressel goes with “More than a feeling” and during rehearsals was having problems with the lyrics but manages to remember them during the actual performance. I am happy she remembers the lyrics but the actual performance was not good. There were some very sharp notes throughout and the ending was rough.

Aaron Kelly performs “Angel”. Aaron had issues with the lyrics as well. I also found the beginning of the number difficult to listen to but he gradually improved most likely because he was relaxing because the end of his audition was spectacular and he was demonstrating the emotions of the song.

Ashley Rodriguez attempts “Battlefield” and manages to be okay. Here is another contestant who violates the rule of trying to perform another Idol’s song.

Lee DeWyze simply cannot enunciate at all. The number he performs which I did not recognize was just a series of mumbles.

Joe Munoz who I do not remember seeing before does a good version of “Man in the Mirror”.

Haeley Vaughn performs “I’m yours” and while she changed it up a bit, I was not impressed.

Janell Wheeler struggles through her performance of “Love Story” and I found her voice very flat.

Ryan is back explaining what an emotional toll this week has brought with 181 voices coming to Hollywood and there have already been 110 cuts. We have 71 remaining voices in three rooms, who will be in the top 24 and who are going home.

It is 11:30 and the judges are ready to render their decisions. Room 1 and Room3 are moving on while the dreams of Room 2 are shattered. Luckily for all Mary Powers is heading into the sunset!

There are 46 remaining voices but only 24 will survive.

Our final day in Hollywood is here and the judges are ready with their final judgment. For the first time ever the news will be given in the Kodak Theater but the contestants are still forced to march in front of the judges and sit into the “chair” for the big reveal.

Michael Lynche is walking in first to learn his fate. There is plenty of useless banter about how do you feel you did, blah, blah, blah. Michael is in the top 24.

Didi Benami (singing for her dead BFF Rebecca) is next. We see a snippet of her final performance of “Angel”. Simon explains she has had good moments as well as bad, i.e. this means you are not consistent, however, when she is good, she is fantastic. Didi is part of the top 24.

Katelyn Epperly is next. We see her final audition where she sings “Bubbly”. Ellen drags out the reveal but in the end Katelyn too is in the top 24.

Shelby Dressell receives the bad news she did not make it to the top 24 but Randy blabbers on about how much she has grown through the week and encourages her to come back in the future. Shelby handles the decision with grace and style. I only wish other contestants could follow her example.

Casey James takes the long walk next as Ellen and Randy tease her about Casey’s hair being down for her. Casey is in the top 24 and finally shows some personality and excitement in getting the news.

Aaron Kelly is next and Ellen explains she sees that he loves performing and that he is a good guy and believes the viewers will see the same thing since he will be in the top 24.

Lee DeWyze who is following Jason Castro’s example by being high on some type of substance survives, as he too will be in the top 24.

Todrick Hall is next to face the judges and he gets a very quick you are in the top 24.

Jessica Furney faces the judges for a second time being sent home last season while Meagan Joy moved on. Jessica finds out she is not through and literally has a meltdown whining to the judges. Watching this display really irritated me and caused me to shout aloud to the television to shut the f*^k up. Jessica's behavior reminded me of a two year old throwing a tantrum. These contestants never learn.

The fate of the rest of the contestants will continue in Wednesday’s episode. We now have the names of seven of the top 24 (five men, 2 women). Who will the remaining 17 be?

Until tomorrow…

AI 9 2-10-10 Hollywood Round 2 Group Nightmares

What is the absolutely worst part of Hollywood week? Can I get a G, R, O, U, and P? What does this spell? GROUP is right, tonight is the most hated of all Idol audition episodes Group Day. This episode has been a train wreck from the very beginning.

Ryan Seacreast refers to tonight’s episode, as “dreaded group night” during the introduction and all I can say is this is AMERICAN IDOL!

I found this evening’s episode to be tedious and the drama of this group day pales in comparison to others.

We are looking for an “Idol” not a “group Idol” which makes this a waste of time. The goal is to determine how the contestants can stand up to the pressure but I believe there are better ways to determine this then torturing me with group day each season.

I will forgo my usual blow-by-blow description of the show and include some general comments while discussing each group shown because in the end we did not get to see everyone.

“Faith” including members Charity Vance, Ashley Rodriguez and Michelle Delamor are the first to take the stage. They chose “Irreplaceable” and it was at best mediocre. Charity and Ashley were on pitch while I could not even hear Michelle over the piano playing. All members of the group get to return for another chance.

“Team Awesome” is next. How stupid to include the word “awesome” in the title, this is just asking for trouble. While I personally like Michael Lynche, (Big Mike) is it necessary to spend so much time about the birth of his child. Does the term T.M.I (too much information) come to mind as we hear about how many centimeters his wife has dilated? I certainly hope they paid them big bucks because otherwise why would anyone let a camera in the delivery room. Giving birth is no easy walk in the park and I certainly would not want America to see me looking like that, good gracious. Mike sounds good and shows excellent confidence. Seth Rollins (father of autistic son) sounded very rough while Tim Urban was at least on pitch. We did not even get to hear Michael Castro. Big Mike and Tim Urban are safe while the other two head home.

“Neapolitan” includes members Paige Miles, Thaddeus Johnson, Jessica Cunningham and Liz Rooney. The group attempts “Bad Romance” and I thought they were all seriously off-key. Liz Rooney was the worst of the bunch. The judges however loved this performance, everyone made it through to the next round, and Ronald just shakes his head and screams WTF!

“Destiny’s Wild” is very upset because according to them “Neapolitan” stole their idea to do the number a capella. The group includes Todrick Hall, Siobhan Magnus, Jared Liewer, and Theri. I enjoyed this group’s performance of “Bad Romance” much better than the prior group including the acrobatics. Todrick and Siobhan were definitely the members carrying the biggest load and their voices were excellent. The judges found this performance weird yet they sent them all through to the next round.

“The Mighty Rangers” is our next group. This is a stupid group name. The group includes Tori Kell, Maddie Penrose, Danny Jones, Mark Labriola and Kimberly Kerbow. The group chooses “Closer”. Tori and Maddie are the only two of the group who I felt were able to sing and sing well. It appears their extra practicing paid off. Mark was as flat as a pancake let alone forgetting the lyrics and poor Kimberly was mumbling so much the judges stopped the number during her solo. Tori and Maddie are going on while the rest will be packing to go home. Poor Danny was begging the judges for another chance given his age would disqualify him from trying out again. This was just pitiful. The begging did not win over the judges.

Our next group “Phoenix” including members Ben Honeycutt, Moorea Masa, Jermaine Sellers, Jeff Goldford and Kat Nestel are having lots of problems. When vocal coach Debra Byrd is yelling at you for not knowing what you are doing, you had better listen to her advice. It appears Kat does since she chooses to quit because she knows she will mess up and she does not want to humiliate herself. Personally, it is a stupid thing to do but perhaps she saves us from some vocal torture. The departure of Kat did not save us from vocal torture, Ben butchered his part of “Carry on Wayward Son”, Jeff continued the trend and Moorea forgets the lyrics as she murders the melody. Jermaine on the other hand at least could hold the key. Ben and Moorea head home while Jermaine and Jeff return for another round.

We then see a couple of groups butcher “Sweet Escape” mostly because they forget the lyrics.

Group “Middle C” which includes Janell Wheeler, Jeramine Purifoy and Casey James where a bright spot with their version of “Closer”. They impressed me, which is hard to do on group day. The entire group is moving on to the next round.

“Three Men and a Baby” including Andrew Garcia, Katie Stevens, J.B. Ahfua and another nameless guy were also quite good with their version of “No One”. Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens were the standouts from this group.

The final group of the evening was “The Dreamers”. The members were Mary Powers, Alex Lambert, Margo May, Hope Johnson and Erynne Hundley. This group had lots of airtime with the original three constantly second guessing their decision to add Hope and Erynne. In addition, we had the big fight about who was in charge. I hope dear readers you will forgive not one but two bad puns coming next. We learn how much of a power hungry bitch Mary Powers can be. She set up a “power” struggle by being over “powering”. I now have it out of my system. By the time, the group hit the stage I was bored by all the drama but it appears my nightmare was just beginning. I thought the entire group was sharp and they seemed to be screaming versus singing. I would have sent the entire group packing for home but the judges save Mary, Hope and Alex while Margo and Erynne are going home.

The day began with 96 people vying for a chance to move on and after the freaking torture of group day; only 25 were cut which means 71 remain to fight it out for a chance to be in the top 24.

Next week each of the remaining contestants, get one more chance to prove why they should be the next American Idol.

AI 9 2-9-10 Hollywood Week Round 1

There have been over a 100,000 people through seven audition cities with 181 of the nation’s best ready to tackle the most difficult test of all. In the end, there will be 12 guys and 12 girls standing. The toughest week of their lives is here, this is Hollywood week and THIS IS American Idol!

7:00 a.m. while the sun is shining on day 1 with all the hopefuls ready to take their chance on the stage of the Kodak Theater. Ellen DeGeneres is making her debut as a permanent Idol judge. Ellen explains that while she may not know much about music she knows what it is like to stand on a stage and try to please people.

As in previous seasons, Ryan explains the contestants will enter in groups of eight and sing a capella or with an instrument. This is sudden death with the judges passing them through or sending them packing.

Katie Stevens (grandma has Alzheimer’s) is the first contestant we see and I really liked this audition. The song she chose really showed off her vocal range with her pitch and enunciation shining through as well. Katie is staying for round two.

Next is “Ski Bo Ski” and Ronald just shakes his head in amazement. Ellen explains he frightened her; it was as if he was stalking the judges, “like a leopard behind a cage”. It is not a good idea to frighten your audience. Luckily for all of America Ski Bo Ski blows his chance and the judges tell him no. Can Ski Bo Ski leave quietly? The answer is no and Simon explains he is not that good.

We are up to 11:30 on day 1 with the tension mounting, as it seems for the last hour Simon has been on a warpath-tearing people down as we observe through a video montage.

Andrew Garcia is going to take a chance performing his rendition of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” with his guitar. This was a brilliant audition. Andrew brought freshness to the song along with a cool R&B vibe. Ronald was finally smiling and I wanted to hear more. Awesome is the only word, which comes to mind. Kara tells him it was genius and believes Paula would be very excited and compares him with Adam Lambert in the way he made the song different. Andrew remains for a chance in round two.

Vanessa Wolfe our favorite redneck bridge jumper is excited for her first trip outside of her Tennessee hometown. Vanessa succumbs to nerves and her audition was freaking horrible. I did not like her prior audition so I am not surprised. Poor Vanessa is heading home to continue her bridge jumping but at least she was able to see Hollywood. I think she should have simply cashed in her “arrow plane” ticket in to get her teeth fixed.

Cue montage of the crying, grief-stricken contestants discovering the end of the road on their journey to becoming the next American Idol.

Can it be 3:30 already? Yes with Cornelius Edwards (Mr. Pants Split) blowing, his chance and the judges eliminate him. We also see Maegan Wright and Amedeo DiRicco being kicked to the curb as well. They all were horrible so the judges made the right choice.

Janelle Wheeler performs with her guitar and gives a very good performance of a stripped-down version of “American Boy”. I really enjoyed listening to this number. Janelle is through to the next round.

Cue next video montage of all the contestants who crash and burn while performing with their musical instruments.

Haeley Vaughn also performs with her guitar and while I like her overall there were some really sharp notes during the performance but the judges seem to like her and she is through.

Mary Powers gave an adequate karaoke version of a Pink song. I personally feel she screams versus sings yet the judges send her through to the next round.

Cue the final montage from day one with Ellen playing with some of the contestants by telling them to step forward, then back, and then to the side. In the end, she tells them all you are through to the next round.

By the end of day one, 46 contestants manage to hold on to their dream.

Day 2 begins with Simon explaining to the singers this could be the most important day of their lives and reminds them not to forget the words.

Jay Stone (beat boxer) bombs big time and will not be going on to the next round.

Lilly Scott fails to impress me. I guess it could be her horrible hair. The girl seriously needs a makeover! The judges on the other hand were singing her praises with Kara saying she finds her refreshing and unique. WTF!

Mike Lynche (Big Mike) has to perform knowing his wife will give birth to their child at any time. This performance was another highlight of the show for me. Mike tackles “Waiting on the World to Change” and he really made the song his own. I appreciate the changes he made and his voice was rich and strong. Mike is on to round two.

4:00 p.m. finds Justin Williams (cancer survivor) performing with a keyboard and while I found his audition in Boston excellent, it was not the case in Hollywood. The entire performance was horrible. I could not understand what he was singing or even recognize the music. Justin survived cancer but Hollywood is not kind as he is heading home.

Cue montage of more contestants heading home including Paige Dechausse (asthma survivor), Erica Rhodes (our Barney leather dominatrix) and those horrible Desimone twins from New Jersey.

Maddy Curtis (sister to the Down syndrome brothers) crashes and burns on the stage and is heading home.

Casey James (Victoria and Kara’s undressed boy toy) performs with his guitar and goes with “I don’t need no Doctor”. There was no wow but he performs it like a country song and overall the changes in the number work. Casey‘s guitar playing was superb.

7:30 p.m. on Day 2 and it is time for the last line of the day.

Didi Benami (pursuing music for her dead best friend) really blew me away. This was another performance, which brought a smile to my lips. Didi’s voice was powerful and she has excellent control. Didi definitely has the entire package going on with her looks, her personality, and her talent. Didi is moving on to round two.

Crystal Bowersox plays guitar and gives a powerhouse rendition of “Natural Woman”. This was a wow performance. Crystal was having fun and it shows in her voice, her movement, and the way the audience was reacting to her. Crystal is moving forward to the next round. Crystal seriously needs some dental work as well because her teeth are disgusting.

Day 2 finds 50 contestants advancing through. 96 out of 181 contestants survive to move forward to round two.

Tomorrow brings my least favorite part of Hollywood week, which is group numbers. I realize it is great television given the fights, tears, and meltdowns but this is a contest for an American Idol not an American Group.

Get ready for the drama!

Until tomorrow…

AI 9 2-3-10 Best of the Rest

Wednesday finds the producers trying to fill eight audition episodes out of seven cities, which means we have a “Best of the Rest” compilation. This is AMERICAN IDOL!

The longest journey starts with the smallest of steps. What do you remember most from the auditions for season nine? The answer is General Larry Platt’s “Pants on the Ground”. Really? This song continues to influence so many. America is singing it at home, at colleges and even during political debates. This song may not be “Bohemian Rhapsody” but it is one special song. Ronald just shakes his head and puts his fingers in his ears to drown out the noise. Enough is enough when it comes to “Pants on the Ground”.

Jessica Furney (20) made it to Hollywood last year but she is kicked to the curb during Hollywood hell week but is here to keep her dream alive. Jessica chooses “Footprints in the Sand” a song co-written by Simon Cowell, can we say kiss ass! Jessica’s voice is fine but there is no true spark and there is zip personality. Jessica manages to get a golden ticket. Ronald’s crystal ball sees a meltdown in Hollywood.

Cue montage as we learn it will take ambition, perseverance, and a great voice, however, many attention seekers show up to have their 15 minutes of fame. These attention seekers use costumes, physical tricks, etc. to stand out in the crowd. Will it be enough to see their way to Hollywood?

Amanda Shectman (19) is a theater major, which somehow equates to being over the top dramatic. Amanda chooses “Good Morning Heartache” and the performance simply fell short for me. Amanda’s voice was okay and she was on pitch yet I do not see myself rushing out to listen to an entire CD of her music. Amanda is heading to Hollywood with four yeses from the judges.

Cue the video footage of contestants bending over backwards literally to impress. We also have musicians who are unable to audition with their musical instrument and must impress with their voice alone.

Lee Dewyze (23) brings his guitar in and grips the instrument as if he would die without it. Lee wins me over solely on his singing ability. Lee has an exceptionally strong, soulful voice as he demonstrates with “Ain’t no Sunshine”. Lee was on pitch and had incredible enunciation. For the first time tonight Ronald was smiling and ready to do his happy dance.

Crystal Bowersox (23) uses her guitar as a crutch and while her voice has potential, I was bored with her tired rendition of “Piece of my Heart”. The judges on the other hand love her and she is on her way.

Wow, more video footage this time the theme is “faking out” our family and friends so they think you are going home without a golden ticket and then pulling it out at the last minute. How cute – NOT!

Welcome back to some familiar faces from prior seasons trying for another chance at a golden ticket. Clearly, some contestants are easier to remember then others.

Lacey Brown (23) was part of the top 50 from last season and in what has to be the most ridiculous choice every made the judges chose Megan “caw caw” Joy over Lacey. A reversal of this moment would have brought Ronald less stress from the earache of Megan’s voice. This is not about me but rather Lacey. Lacey takes a standard like “Over the Rainbow” and gave a sophisticated controlled interpretation of the song. Katherine McPhee blew me away with her version and Lacey made me forget Katherine. Lacey has such control over her voice, the way she was phrasing the lyrics was sheer perfection. Finally someone who can really, really sing.

Stephanie Fisher (23) is here on her seventh attempt for a golden ticket. What is up with these delusional people? Stephanie goes with “Fever” and provides our first fingernail down the chalkboard moment of the evening. There are no words to describe the hellishness of this audition. The entire Victoria is my idol was ridiculous. How “Posh Spice” can be an idol is beyond my comprehension?

Let us cue the montage of all the young kids coming to audition. Personally, I think the age limit should commence at 18. The majority of these kids lack the skills to deal with the pressure of this competition and waiting a few years could increase the potential of their being able to survive.

Rachel Hubbard (16) chooses “Wrong Again” and I certainly did not hear anything that made me sit up and notice her while the judges were singing her praises.

Thaddeus Johnson (16) goes with “How Am I Suppose to Live without U” and he has one hell of a powerhouse voice. There was great tone and he can enunciate as well. Mr. Thad needs to rein it in a bit though.

Genesis Moore (16) also has a powerhouse voice to the point she was creating microphone static. Genesis could give Ethel Merman a run for money in the powerful voice contest.

Cue the video where we have seen over a 100,000 people in seven cities from all walks of life but we focus on athletes trying to win a different type of game.

Adrian Chandtchi or “big Kahuna” is 6’8” but refers to himself as a beautiful man flower. The whole image of him blossoming to show the beauty inside was just plain creepy. Adrian wants to prove size does not matter when it comes to talent. Adrian decides to murder “Can’t Help Falling in Love”. This was a terrible audition. Adrian will not be going to Hollywood.

Mike Lynche (26) who is a personal trainer definitely wows me with his version of “Unchained Melody”. Mike has a great voice, good tone, and exerts very good control.

Didi Benami (22) explains she is dedicating her performance to her best friend Rebecca who died four years ago. Didi goes with “Hey Jude” delivering what has to be one of the best versions of this song ever. This audition was beautiful and Didi executes incredible control over her voice. She has such a powerful voice yet she brings such unique phrasing to the number. This audition was a joy to listen and experience!

Contestants bring various degrees of heart and determination in their search for a dream according to our time wasting video montage.

Aaron Kelly (16) had a difficult time during his early years with his parents and social services being on their tail until finally his aunt and uncle adopted him and his brother. Aaron is grateful to his aunt (mom) because they gave up a lot for him. Aaron goes with “The Climb” and Ronald was impressed. One of the few Miley Cyrus songs I enjoy. Aaron brings an emotional richness to the song, which Miley could not even dream of reaching. Aaron has a beautiful voice but he is really too young for this competition and could easily be swallowed up.

Cue video montage where we learn everyone’s goal is to win the title of American Idol and fine fame yet the question is what people will do with their fame.

Kimberly Bishop (20) might be better off going for a beauty contest because her answer sounds like she is vying for the title of Miss American Idol. Kim on the other hand will have to find another way to save the world because she cannot sing and murders “I Kissed a Girl”.

Shaddaii Harris (22) comes from a home with a delusional enabling mother who had a vision of god during her pregnancy that Shaddaii would have the gift of song. Poor Shaddaii does not have a gift for singing and while attempting “Fallin” sent Ronald’s eardrums to the painful setting.

The auditions are ending, which is funny since they were last year anyway.

Hope Johnson (19) has seven siblings, six sisters and one brother. Hope was clueless they were poor growing up even though they were hungry all the time and she use to bring home her school lunch to share with her brother. While the back-story is interesting, the more important thing is Hope has talent. She chooses “I Hope you Dance” and her delivery was brilliant. Her voice is so pure. There was wonderful phrasing in her delivery. Hope is heading to Hollywood!

This journey takes a great leap of faith and after seven cities, 181 hopefuls are ready for their journey to Hollywood.

Next week it is Hollywood Hell week with Ellen permanently joining the judges table. I am looking forward to the screaming, the tantrums, the pressure, and the meltdowns along with the always-fun group numbers. Who can resist the grief and misery of those poor souls being kicked to the curb and the joy of those moving into the semi-final rounds? Let the fun of Hollywood week begin!

Until next week…

AI 9 2-2-10 Denver

Tonight on Idol, we have reached new heights in the mile high city as we take on Denver. The altitude is terrible and the talent will take it to the limit. Buckle up this is AMERICAN IDOL!

Cue montage circa September 2005 when Chris Daughtry was just another face in the crowd. Tonight’s crowd in Denver is twice as large as before but everyone shouts they are the next American Idol. Our contestants have the confidence but it is up to the judges to determine if they have the talent to back it up. For some strange and crazy reason Victoria Beckham is back as the guest judge, if you can answer more power to you.

Well it is time to dish the dirt!

Day 1

Mark Labriola (28) tries to convince us he is mistaken for Jack Black and I should care why? Simon asks him to provide information about him and he pipes up he loves cheese – really? Then gives a story his mother kidnapped him at the age of four and they were on the run for 6 years. Mark goes with “Tempted” and there is a nice tone to his voice but I certainly did not hear any wow. The judges on the other hand saw something special and Mark receives his golden ticket.

Time for more video montages as we learn auditioning is difficult considering the lights, camera and of course “him”, i.e. Simon. The contestants are anxious and they deal with their nervousness in different ways or a chance for the producers to show us all the zanies who show up for their 15 minutes of fame. My opinion is if you are unable to stand the heat of an audition, you will never survive in the cutthroat world of performing.

Mario Galvan steps up to audition with his irritating way of laughing after every sentence. Please put me out of my misery. Mario explains he won the role of Dr. Jekyll and Hyde in a Broadway revue, I guess the director was tone deaf. Mario chooses “Jailhouse Rock” and there being no surprise sucked. Simon tells him NO while the other judges are laughing under the table.

Cue the video montage explaining the air in Denver is clean until Idol shows up leading to clips of all the contestants swearing as they exit the audition location. Classy!

Kimberly Kerbow (24) has hope and her daughter Amelia is her greatest champion. Kimberly goes with “The Way I am” and her voice is fine but I did not hear anything, which would motivate me to rush out and buy or download her music. The judges present her with a golden ticket for reasons unfathomable to me.

Surprisingly we get yet another montage providing us clips of all the contestants receiving yeses although we hear nothing and they remain anonymous. Mr. Producer if they are so wonderful why not let us receive their gift of song.

Danelle Hayes (24) hails from Seattle admitting to being a karaoke host, songwriter, and singer in a cover band. Danielle wants to make life easier for her three-year-old son but she chose a hard path to her goal as she cries even while trying to audition. Danelle chooses “I am the only one” and she has a powerful instrument yet for me she was too loud and her pitch sucked the big one. I did not like this audition at all. The judges on the other hand are either deaf or they were feeling sorry for her. Simon tells her she came in just in time before she was broken since she has not been allowed to be herself. Excuse me! Kara tells her how moving the audition was and audiences want to be moved. The judges provide her with an excellent opportunity to shine in Hollywood. Ronald simply shakes his head in amazement.

To fill time the producers cue another montage explaining the talent in Denver is impressive and they are dressing to provide “posh” to the proceedings. Another chance to show clips of the contestants with no sense of style or are just very desperate for exposure on national television.

Casey James (27) was in a serious motorcycle accident at the age of 21. The physicians say he will never play guitar again but he shows them although he is constantly in pain. Casey chose some country song unrecognizable to me because he has zero singing ability. I did not like the audition and I heard nothing, which says wow here is an American Idol. Simon sums up my feelings with it was a bad audition while the women disagree. We then have some shameless antics by them asking Casey to let down his hair and take off his shirt. I have no idea what this has to do with his singing ability. Simon quips, “What is this Project Runway”! Casey receives two yeses from the women with Randy giving in to give him a chance but tells him to find a personality.

Tory Kelly (16) is the final contestant from day one. Kelly arrives with multiple brats, wait I mean children. Hope is one of those precious brats who comes in with drawings for the judges. They adore Hope and praise her work. I cannot believe the judges were enabling Hope gushing about her talent but this is about Tory. Tory chooses “Gravity” and once again, Ronald is disappointed. There may be a good voice in there somewhere but Tory was trying too hard and put way too much into it. Randy, Victoria and Kari send Tory to Hollywood but Simon agrees with me stating Tory’s voice was annoying and he would send Hope through.

There are 15 contestants receiving their golden ticket to Hollywood on day one.

Day 2

Seeing how day one went so incredibly well will the same confidence seep through again.

Austin Paul is attending the University of Colorado stating he is studying music composition but is also a sports star. Austin’s deluded mind provides him the confidence to know he is the next American Idol. “Bigger than My Body” is Austin’s audition song which he promptly butchers beyond recognition, if John Meyer was dead he would be spinning in his grave. Kara does not like how he was grabbing his pecs and feels he was too cocky. Simon finds him annoying and the entire thing bothers Victoria. Austin takes the rejection well but continues to let his mind delude him he will be a star. I guess we will be seeing you on the red carpet at the Grammys – NOT!

Kenny Everett boasts he is the male Mary J. Blige while thoroughly and completely murdering “Be Without you”. Kenny threw in some ridiculous runs, which were annoying. What is up with the use of the fake microphone? Simon tells him he feels like he was punched and all the judges tell him no. Kenny does not take rejection well, wants to try another song, starts butchering another song, and simply refuses to leave. Kenny finally leaves and is unable to comprehend how four people can tell him he cannot sing when he knows he can.

The producers are in the mood to waste additional time with video montage of more rejections from day two.

Nicci Nix (22) flies in from Florence, Italy for her audition, which is ridiculous given their visit to Atlanta. Ronald is afraid, very afraid. I do not have a clue as to what Nicci was trying to sing because his eardrums popped after hearing her speak and this performance was my fingernail down the chalkboard moment of the evening. My mind was in escape mode and running from the room seemed to be a good idea. Simon inquires if she has been ingesting helium. This entire audition was a time waster. Nicci miraculously receives a golden ticket while Ronald rushes to the bathroom to toss his cookies.

It is 7:00 p.m. in the mile high city and day two is ending as we cue video of more disappointment for the contestants being kicked to the ground.

Haeley Vaughn (16) explains she was born two months premature and then her father dies when she was 10. These adversities fuel her desire to succeed. How sweet but what does this have to do with her singing talent. Haeley chooses “Last Name”. Haeley has a pleasant voice yet for me there was no spark. There was no wow moment. Simon likes she is different. Victoria likes that she is bubbly. Kara likes that she is unique as a black country singer and should start lower in her register. Randy explains she must avoid being too sound-alike. Haeley brings her mother and sister in while the judges send her to Hollywood.

The tease has been going all night about this contestant who is going to be very shocking but in the end was a disappointment. We get another chance to see “Bikini Girl” from season 8, which leads to yes, “Bikini Boy”. Really, this is the best the producers can show. Ronald finds no amusement in this horrible rendition of “Achy Breaky Heart” and neither do the judges who simply leave “Bikini Boy” alone wondering if they are coming back.

Day 2 ends with a montage of the 11 contestants receiving their golden tickets yet they remain anonymous. There are 26 going to Hollywood via Denver.

After eight prior seasons, I am very jaded because I expect so much more from these contestants and have been very disappointed so far. I just pray Hollywood provides more spark and talent.

Tonight we will see the best and worst of the auditions, which should be interesting. I need to hear great music.

Until tomorrow…