AI 9 2-2-10 Denver

Tonight on Idol, we have reached new heights in the mile high city as we take on Denver. The altitude is terrible and the talent will take it to the limit. Buckle up this is AMERICAN IDOL!

Cue montage circa September 2005 when Chris Daughtry was just another face in the crowd. Tonight’s crowd in Denver is twice as large as before but everyone shouts they are the next American Idol. Our contestants have the confidence but it is up to the judges to determine if they have the talent to back it up. For some strange and crazy reason Victoria Beckham is back as the guest judge, if you can answer more power to you.

Well it is time to dish the dirt!

Day 1

Mark Labriola (28) tries to convince us he is mistaken for Jack Black and I should care why? Simon asks him to provide information about him and he pipes up he loves cheese – really? Then gives a story his mother kidnapped him at the age of four and they were on the run for 6 years. Mark goes with “Tempted” and there is a nice tone to his voice but I certainly did not hear any wow. The judges on the other hand saw something special and Mark receives his golden ticket.

Time for more video montages as we learn auditioning is difficult considering the lights, camera and of course “him”, i.e. Simon. The contestants are anxious and they deal with their nervousness in different ways or a chance for the producers to show us all the zanies who show up for their 15 minutes of fame. My opinion is if you are unable to stand the heat of an audition, you will never survive in the cutthroat world of performing.

Mario Galvan steps up to audition with his irritating way of laughing after every sentence. Please put me out of my misery. Mario explains he won the role of Dr. Jekyll and Hyde in a Broadway revue, I guess the director was tone deaf. Mario chooses “Jailhouse Rock” and there being no surprise sucked. Simon tells him NO while the other judges are laughing under the table.

Cue the video montage explaining the air in Denver is clean until Idol shows up leading to clips of all the contestants swearing as they exit the audition location. Classy!

Kimberly Kerbow (24) has hope and her daughter Amelia is her greatest champion. Kimberly goes with “The Way I am” and her voice is fine but I did not hear anything, which would motivate me to rush out and buy or download her music. The judges present her with a golden ticket for reasons unfathomable to me.

Surprisingly we get yet another montage providing us clips of all the contestants receiving yeses although we hear nothing and they remain anonymous. Mr. Producer if they are so wonderful why not let us receive their gift of song.

Danelle Hayes (24) hails from Seattle admitting to being a karaoke host, songwriter, and singer in a cover band. Danielle wants to make life easier for her three-year-old son but she chose a hard path to her goal as she cries even while trying to audition. Danelle chooses “I am the only one” and she has a powerful instrument yet for me she was too loud and her pitch sucked the big one. I did not like this audition at all. The judges on the other hand are either deaf or they were feeling sorry for her. Simon tells her she came in just in time before she was broken since she has not been allowed to be herself. Excuse me! Kara tells her how moving the audition was and audiences want to be moved. The judges provide her with an excellent opportunity to shine in Hollywood. Ronald simply shakes his head in amazement.

To fill time the producers cue another montage explaining the talent in Denver is impressive and they are dressing to provide “posh” to the proceedings. Another chance to show clips of the contestants with no sense of style or are just very desperate for exposure on national television.

Casey James (27) was in a serious motorcycle accident at the age of 21. The physicians say he will never play guitar again but he shows them although he is constantly in pain. Casey chose some country song unrecognizable to me because he has zero singing ability. I did not like the audition and I heard nothing, which says wow here is an American Idol. Simon sums up my feelings with it was a bad audition while the women disagree. We then have some shameless antics by them asking Casey to let down his hair and take off his shirt. I have no idea what this has to do with his singing ability. Simon quips, “What is this Project Runway”! Casey receives two yeses from the women with Randy giving in to give him a chance but tells him to find a personality.

Tory Kelly (16) is the final contestant from day one. Kelly arrives with multiple brats, wait I mean children. Hope is one of those precious brats who comes in with drawings for the judges. They adore Hope and praise her work. I cannot believe the judges were enabling Hope gushing about her talent but this is about Tory. Tory chooses “Gravity” and once again, Ronald is disappointed. There may be a good voice in there somewhere but Tory was trying too hard and put way too much into it. Randy, Victoria and Kari send Tory to Hollywood but Simon agrees with me stating Tory’s voice was annoying and he would send Hope through.

There are 15 contestants receiving their golden ticket to Hollywood on day one.

Day 2

Seeing how day one went so incredibly well will the same confidence seep through again.

Austin Paul is attending the University of Colorado stating he is studying music composition but is also a sports star. Austin’s deluded mind provides him the confidence to know he is the next American Idol. “Bigger than My Body” is Austin’s audition song which he promptly butchers beyond recognition, if John Meyer was dead he would be spinning in his grave. Kara does not like how he was grabbing his pecs and feels he was too cocky. Simon finds him annoying and the entire thing bothers Victoria. Austin takes the rejection well but continues to let his mind delude him he will be a star. I guess we will be seeing you on the red carpet at the Grammys – NOT!

Kenny Everett boasts he is the male Mary J. Blige while thoroughly and completely murdering “Be Without you”. Kenny threw in some ridiculous runs, which were annoying. What is up with the use of the fake microphone? Simon tells him he feels like he was punched and all the judges tell him no. Kenny does not take rejection well, wants to try another song, starts butchering another song, and simply refuses to leave. Kenny finally leaves and is unable to comprehend how four people can tell him he cannot sing when he knows he can.

The producers are in the mood to waste additional time with video montage of more rejections from day two.

Nicci Nix (22) flies in from Florence, Italy for her audition, which is ridiculous given their visit to Atlanta. Ronald is afraid, very afraid. I do not have a clue as to what Nicci was trying to sing because his eardrums popped after hearing her speak and this performance was my fingernail down the chalkboard moment of the evening. My mind was in escape mode and running from the room seemed to be a good idea. Simon inquires if she has been ingesting helium. This entire audition was a time waster. Nicci miraculously receives a golden ticket while Ronald rushes to the bathroom to toss his cookies.

It is 7:00 p.m. in the mile high city and day two is ending as we cue video of more disappointment for the contestants being kicked to the ground.

Haeley Vaughn (16) explains she was born two months premature and then her father dies when she was 10. These adversities fuel her desire to succeed. How sweet but what does this have to do with her singing talent. Haeley chooses “Last Name”. Haeley has a pleasant voice yet for me there was no spark. There was no wow moment. Simon likes she is different. Victoria likes that she is bubbly. Kara likes that she is unique as a black country singer and should start lower in her register. Randy explains she must avoid being too sound-alike. Haeley brings her mother and sister in while the judges send her to Hollywood.

The tease has been going all night about this contestant who is going to be very shocking but in the end was a disappointment. We get another chance to see “Bikini Girl” from season 8, which leads to yes, “Bikini Boy”. Really, this is the best the producers can show. Ronald finds no amusement in this horrible rendition of “Achy Breaky Heart” and neither do the judges who simply leave “Bikini Boy” alone wondering if they are coming back.

Day 2 ends with a montage of the 11 contestants receiving their golden tickets yet they remain anonymous. There are 26 going to Hollywood via Denver.

After eight prior seasons, I am very jaded because I expect so much more from these contestants and have been very disappointed so far. I just pray Hollywood provides more spark and talent.

Tonight we will see the best and worst of the auditions, which should be interesting. I need to hear great music.

Until tomorrow…