AI 11: 2-29-12 Semi Finals Round Two

Last night the women had their chance to display their talent or lack thereof on the big Idol Stage.

I did not spend much time with my usual bitching yesterday but I cannot hold it in any longer. I hate the big announcing of Ryan and his marching down the stairs. The show is not about you but the contestants. I realize I bitch about this year after year but since the producers seem to disregard me, I am compelled to keep reminding them.

I am also sick to death with Randy referring to this season as “its season one-one, dawg!” Enough!

I hated the contestant video blogs during the auditions and I hate them even more during the semi-finals. I do not give a rat’s ass about your town, your family, blah, blah, blah – I simply care if you can sing or not sing. These videos are just irritating filler.

My one surprise last night was Randy admitting that he watched the show later and believes the judges gave too much of a free pass to many of the male contestants. Interesting though that he would not reveal who those contestants were, however, you my dear readers know exactly who they are from my blog. I am happy Randy had his “I could have had a V8 moment!”

One more bitch before we move on to dishing the dirt, what the hell was J Lo wearing? It was simply ghastly! Steven’s blazer also would not place him on any best-dressed list. Scary!

Chelsea Sorrell – “Cowboy Casanova”

After eleven seasons, you would think contestants would learn it is not wise to sing songs, which were done by other winners of American Idol. It never works but alas, we have Chelsea deciding to tackle Carrie Underwood without much success. The song was too big for her. I also hated her phrasing and diction. It was a sad song selection and when you do not deliver the vocals, it is even worse. On the other hand, it at least looked like she was; having some fun on the stage but it was not enough. I also really hate the stylists on this show because the outfit sucked as well.

Randy – I am not sure choosing a Carrie song was a good idea. The audience needs to see who you are not comparing you to Carrie Underwood.

Jennifer – I think you sounded “nasally” but I think it was nerves.

Steven – You sounded good but you need to work on your phrasing. Jennifer shouted that you are a good singer.

Ericka Van Pelt – “What about Love”

We should ban all contestants from singing Heart. Very few singers can rock like the Wilson sisters. I will give Ericka credit, the woman knows how to perform. I enjoyed watching her strut the stage but on the other hand, I did not really enjoy the vocals. There was something strange about her voice or maybe it just was not in the right key. I cannot put my finger on it but the vocals were off.

Steven – I love your confidence, which made the song better.

Jennifer – You have one of the season’s power voices. It is nice to watch you since you are so comfortable on stage. I do think you could push it more.

Randy – I agree with Steven and Jennifer. A singing DJ!

Jen Hirsh – “One and Only”

I think Adele should ban her songbook from American Idol. Adele is Adele while Jen is a poor substitute. I think Jen has some vocal skills but this was not the song to demonstrate them. I did not like the sound of her voice and it appeared she was singing from her head not her chest. I will give her some credit in that it did not sound like karaoke but that is all. Her facial expressions and mannerisms were ghastly. Jen seriously needs some lessons in performing.

Jennifer – You sounded beautiful. You went for the high notes and you felt the feeling of the song.

Steven – You are another confident singer. You have what it takes.

Randy – I have loved you since I first heard you. You should remember that you could do any runs you want because you have talent.

Brielle Von Hugel – “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay”

Brielle wants to inspire us but then chooses this song. This was not a good song choice my dear. Do not even get me started on the fashion nightmare she was wearing. I cannot believe her mother let her go on stage wearing it. Brielle starts singing in the middle of the guys and let us just say she did not sound good. She started excessively low and was not quite on key. When she was reaching for a higher register, she sounded better but not fantastic. I thought the entire performance was annoying.

Steven – You did a great job. (Are you on crack?)

Jennifer – I think people underestimate you. (I do not think so!)

Randy – I did not like the low key at the beginning and you sounded great when the song went higher. You surprised me with your Janis Joplin swagger. (Are you nuts? Janis was rolling over in her grave.)

Hallie Day – “Feelin’ Good”

I do not think this was the best song choice if you want to “let loose and entertain people tonight”. I think Hallie did okay but there was nothing memorable about her or the performance. It was just another blond girl singing karaoke.

Jennifer – There were some good moments. You look like a star. You lost control of the song at a few points but you got it back. (Why don’t you just say you sucked?)

Steven – I like the old-fashioned tone to your voice.

Randy – All he could do is ask her what kind of artist she wants to be which Hallie doesn’t even really answer. Time waster.

Skylar Laine – “Stay with Me”

Now this was an inspired song choice. For the first time tonight, I enjoyed a performance. I was seriously impressed the woman could rock yet she kept her country twang. This was a raw and passionate performance. This woman has the most amazing breath support of anyone I have heard. She was strutting around the stage but did not once sound out of breath. I loved her phrasing and the excellent enunciation made me praise the heavens. She made me sit up and notice her. PS I hated her outfit.

Randy – I am excited to have such a rocking country singer. You were Reba mixed with Kelly and/or Tina. You showed the talent and star quality the show is looking for.

Jennifer – agrees with Randy

Steven – Keep it up

Baylie Brown – “Amazed”

There have been some poor performances so far this evening but Baylie has now won the prize for the worst. This was a total mess from start to finish. The woman was off key the entire number and her voice sounded horrible. The band and the music were overpowering her as well. I liked her pink outfit although it was way too tight but I guess that at this point the only thing going for Baylie is the fact that she looks fantastic and in that dress she looked delicious but it is not enough to get you to the American Idol crown.

Steven – I question the song choice but I enjoyed it. (Now I know you are on crack.)

Jennifer – It was a little shaky. I realize everyone gets nervous but you have to be solid considering the people you are up against.

Randy – I do not think you ever took control of the song.

Hollie Cavanaugh – “Reflection”

Here is another artist’s songbook, which should be banned. You cannot outdo Christina no matter how hard you try. This was a horrible song choice. I hated the performance and she was off key as well. What is going on tonight? I did not like the arrangement, the vocal phrasing, oh let us just say I hated the entire thing. There is not one positive thing I can say about this.

Steven – I heard the passion but I hope you will let your hair down next time.

Jennifer – I told you last year if you came back you would win it. I still think so. You need to let your hair down.

Randy – I think this was the biggest dragon someone had to slay tonight and even though it was not perfect, the good parts were really good.

Haley Johnson – “Sweet Dreams”

I do not even know where to begin with this performance. I guess we will go for the obvious. This was a ridiculous song choice. I am guessing Haley was on speed given the ridiculous vocal performance. Exactly what was she thinking about? What is up with waving your arms about? I truly wanted to use the mute button since it was horrible. The vocal gymnastics were unnecessary and were so wrong for the song. Haley just beat Baylie for the worst performance of the night. I never want to hear this woman sing again. It is even more embarrassing because she is from Oregon.

Jennifer – I hope that America could hear all the “special things” you did with your voice. I do not think this was the best song choice. (Now that was the understatement of the night).

Steven – I think you pulled it through and I like how you performed. (Clearly Steven is in an alternate universe tonight).

Randy – I am not sure how to break the news that this was a nightmare, not a dream. It was pitchy and too hard of a song to attempt. “This was a little trainwrecky.” (Right on Randy).

Shannon Magrane – “Go Light Your World”

What the hell was she wearing? I think this performance would go over well at the Republican National Convention but it did not do anything for me. The only thing I enjoy about going to church is the music but this song did not give me any inspiration. I will give Shannon some praise for her vocal control but just standing there singing was boring. I need more. It was not terrible it was just okay.

Randy – I am happy you came out swinging. You are young but calm. I am impressed when I hear you sing.

Jennifer – I love watching you and hearing you share your gift. You gave me goose bumps.

Steven – You started out gospel-y and then he was mumbling.

Jessica Sanchez – “Love you I do”

This was the best performance of the night and I so needed to hear some great singing after the last few contestants. I was a bit worried when we are told the contestant has not been well, it usually means they are going to use it as an excuse. This was an out of the world fantastic vocal performance. Jessica’s voice is beautiful rich layered and sheer perfection. If she is sick and sings this great, it can only get better. Jessica may indeed be the first female Idol after five seasons of male winners. The judges awarded Jessica a standing ovation.

Randy – This was one of the best performances from the past two nights. You are another confident singer.

Jennifer – I love the way you punctuate your notes. You are beyond your years.

Steven – Your pitch is perfect.

Elle Testone – “One and Only”

Gracious with all the songs available we have to hear the same song, which was butchered by someone else. Elle though redeems herself because this version is better than Jen’s. I liked the piano playing and she provided some beautiful gritty vocal tones. The performance was good but it did not cause me to stand up and say wow.

Steven – You blew it out of the water.

Jennifer – I think you are one of the best singers in this competition, if not the best. I hope America agrees that you are awesome.

Randy – You are a force to be reckoned with. I got chills even though this was not the best performance we have heard from you.

The only three singers I would place in the finals are Jessica, Elise and Skylar.

I have no clue what America will do with their votes but I will guess those getting through are Jessica, Elise, Skylar, Shannon, and Hollie.

I will not be watching a two hour results show tonight. I plan to get up early and simply speed through my recording meaning I probably only need between 10 – 15 minutes.

It will be interesting whom the judge’s pick for their wild cards.

Until the next time…