American Idol Season 6 Episode 3

Well happily American Idol was on last night. I always worry when there is political crap on like last night because it always tends to sabotage the evening programming. I made it back to my hotel room just in time and did my happy dance when the show started.
Last night we were in Memphis and apparently there were a few more good singers since 22 (the most so far) who were given the golden ticket to Hollywood. We naturally did not see the majority of the best instead we were shown more of the worst singers. Memphis did not disappoint as another city with the very deluded regarding their alleged talent.
First up was Frank Byers, Jr. the cheerleader and coach with the ridiculous nick name of "Frank and Beans". I won't go through the things I could say related to his performance with that nickname. I did not like his performance at all. He got the resounding no from all the judges.
Timika Sims was next. This was one very strange woman and what was up with that stare of hers. It was like she had nothing inside, the a soulless person. She was down right scary. Naturally she couldn't sing, tuneless, boring and I don't know about the rest of you but I really couldn't understand a word she said.
Christopher Rivera was the next contestant on the chopping block. What was with his clothes? I don't know where he got the idea he could sing but his murderous version of "Superstitious" was beyond horrible. It was my first fingers on a chalkboard moment of this season.
Alexis with the braces was up next and once again a contestant that I could not understand one word of her performance. She got the big no as well.
We finally got a contestant who can sing, Sundance Head. I don't know where people come up with these names. I did like his attitude, my parents were hippies and his dad was a singer with a hit song. Sundance could sing and he was the best of what was shown last night. I don't like that stupid King Tut beard he has but his voice is golden so I expect he will make it to the top 24. Sundance got his ticket to Hollywood.
Wandera was next and luckily she got the big no as well.
Our next deluded contestant was Travis McKinney who sang a song he wrote for his girlfriend. The show spent way too much time on his pre-audition. If I heard the song had so emotion once more I was going to scream. Travis was just not good, the song wasn't good, and I really couldn't understand what he was saying. I am surprised his girlfriend would like such a horrible ode to their romance. Travis went home without his golden ticket.
Danielle was up next and I wasn't impressed with her at all. Simon said no while Paula and Randy said yes even though Randy said he wasn't blown away. Danielle got her ticket to Hollywood but there is no way she will make it to the top 24.
Christopher McCain was next even though he goes by Topher (go figure). We had to go through his sad life about his wife leaving him because she was cheating and coming back again but then deciding she was happier cheating, go figure. I am not sure why he felt he could be the next American Idol but the judges felt he didn't have it so he was sent packing. At least he didn't leave anger like some of the others, he just indicated he was going to go do Karoke, get drunk, and fall off the stage since Simon told him that was what the performance reminded him of.
My favorite moment of the show came next with Janita and her "my style is very important in expressing my confidentiality". Her style was about wearing a very low cut dress to amplify her very full chest. There were moments when I thought she was going to have a wardrobe malfunction aka like Janet Jackson. I can tell you I spent the entire performance waiting for the wardrobe malfunction and trying to ignore the absolutely disgusting version of 'Disco Inferno' she was trying to do. When I get home I have to get out the original version so I can remove the memory of this performance from my mind.
Next up we have Sean Michael. The judges let him through and I just don't know what the judges were thinking about. I just did not think he could sing and he definitely doesn't have the "IT" factor Simonis always talking about.
Melinda Doolitte was next and she is a professional background singer. She had a pretty good voice but the judges were falling all other themselves about her. Simon even indicated she was in the top 2% of good singers this year. Given that we haven't seen the majority of them I can't say yes or no but I liked her voice but I am not sure she is the best but Melinda is going to Hollywood.
And finally the last deluded singer we had to put up with is Robert Lee Holmes who is confident that he sounds just like Elvis. I am not sure what rock he came out from under but his rendition of "Burning Love" did not in any way shape or form sound like Elvis. Robert gets the big fat no from the judges and America stands up and cheers.
The last contestant shown last night was Philip Stacy who missed the birth of his child because he was in line to audition. Philip didn't blow me away I think I almost agree with Simon but he wasn't as horrible as some of the others. Philip got two yeses from Paula and Randy so he is heading to Hollywood. Of course the show had to end with a shot of Philip meeting his new child, oh well.
Tonight we have two hours and they are visiting New York City. It should be one very wild night of the strange and unusual.
Until tomorrow, American Idol Rocks.

Below are some articles for your reading pleasure:

The Best of Simon Cowellisms by Roxanne McDonald
~It's an absolute, categorical never.
~I don't know what I'm doing on this show anymore…. The point you're taking is absolutely absurd.
~It was juvenile, tuneless, mediocre, and horrible.
~It was one of the strangest auditions I've ever heard in my life.
~How long have you stayed in Minnesota for?[auditioner response:6 months]Long enough.

~You have just summed up Minnesota Mate…. Even the juggling was pathetic.
~It was almost as bad as it could possibly get.
~[auditioner: I've had 10 years of training and I don't understand why they didn't tell me before….]I'll tell you why…because I wasn't your teacher.[auditioner: What could I do to improve?]Leave.
~[auditioner complains she can't sing well tonight for she has a dry throat]It's not a cold; it's not a dry throat. It's the fact you can't sing…. You could lie in a bath with your mouth open and it still wouldn't [be good].

~[auditioner complains she is sick, and hence…yup…can' t sing well tonight]Don't give it to anyone else.
~I'm not being rude, but…that was horrendous.

~[to Paula and Randy, upon an auditioner's exit]It looked like she'd been caught in a net.
~What…the bloody hell…was that?

~It was almost non-human.~First of all, you are aware that this is a singing competition….

~You look like one of those creatures who live in the jungle with those massive eyes. What are they called? Bush babies.

~Are you drunk?
~Sometimes I like to put one sugar in my coffee. That was like putting eleven…. It was a bit too sugary for my taste.

~I've heard some weird auditions, but that was perhaps the weirdest.
~It was like a one year old singing.

~[when challenged to be the auditioner's singing coach]It would be like coaching a one-legged man to win the 100-metre sprint.
~What…was…that?

~I'm not being rude, but can you shut up?