American Idol 8 - 1/13/09 - Melting in Phoenix

Welcome to another season of American Idol updates.

I cannot even describe how excited I was about the new season and while I wasn't exactly thrilled with some of the talent I was just happy finally being able to scream, laugh, applaud, cry and shout at the judges and the contestants.

Is it just me or wasn't that a bizarre opening of a new season of Idol with a black screen and a strange quote from David Foster. I didn't see the connection but at least it was short because I didn't have time to write down the quote.

We were then shown flashbacks of Simon addressing the semi-finalists for Season 1. I personally thought the opening montage rocked which included just enough of the memorable moments with only a few horrible auditions. The ending of the montage with the prior winners worked effectively.

We are then greeted with Ryan in the Grand Canyon. Is it me or did it look like he was orange from a tanning booth?

Phoenix is the first audition city shown as this represented the first time the new judge Kara DioGuardio joined the group.

I could have done without all the footage of everyone shouting they would be the next American Idol - please as if you get to decide!

You have to give kudos to the crazy thousands who would stand out to audition in 106 degree weather, I would have melted!

We spend way too much time on the judges arriving but I thought they handled the introduction of Kara very well and given the montage of clips they showed where she really provided some good comments to those auditioning bodes well for her success.

Let's get to the heart of why we are here, to dish about the contestants!

Day 1:

Tuan Nguyen is up first, he of the big fro and big plans for tapping after finishing singing. I fell out of my chair when he told Simon he wants to be as big as Michael Jackson and Britney Spears. Simon retorts "Combined?” You are starting off well aren't you by picking those two as your inspiration. Tuan chooses "The Way you make Me Feel". I will give some credit, it didn’t totally suck, he was on pitch and I could understand him but there is no way he is right for the competition. Randy indicated it was wild and there is no way you are going to Hollywood. Kara indicates she has never seen anything like this and not in a good way. No golden ticket and naturally Tuan was disappointed as he thought he had it in the bag. Even after 7 prior seasons it astounds me there are still so many clueless people trying for their 15 minutes of fame.

Emily Wynne-Hughes (age 21) was next. The producers spent time on her back story to the point of filming her mother. Emily with her multi-colored hair, piercings on every part of her body we could see along with some truly ugly tattoos. Emily is in a rock band and her band doesn't know she is auditioning. If she goes to Hollywood the band will lose their European Tour - oh the horror of it all! Didn't we have this type of story from Constantine a few seasons back, give me a $%^$ break. Emily went with "Barracuda". This is a song which has been butchered by many prior contestants. Her audition was good. I didn't think it was as great as the judges but her voice did have a nice tone.

Randy Madden (28) who clearly is not ready for a career in show business. I don't give a rip he is a sales representative but wants to be a rock star. If you are so friggin' emotional because you just need someone to tell you how you’re great, forget it. The music business is dog eat dog. I haven't seen anyone cry that much during an audition clip in 7 prior seasons. I laughed out loud when Simon told him he was a "drama queen". Randy chose "Livin' on a Prayer" to audition with. Good gracious, a difficult song to sing. He totally sucked. The begging to the judges to let him through because he just wants to project his soul and heart to the audience caused me to gag. The judges kicked him down and Paula was way too nice. The only interesting part of this audition was Simon and Paula's little spat. Although it was blurred, Paula gave Simon the finger!

J. B. Ahufa (16) from Utah goes with "Flying without Wings". I have to interject, when will contestants learn not to do other Idol winner's hit songs. Ruben knocked this out of the ballpark and J.B. didn't come close. J.B.'s voice was pleasant enough but there wasn't any spark. You need to shine and have some personality. J.B. was a stick in the mud when he was singing. All 4 judges voted yes although I am not sure why and Simon tells him to loosen up. Outside the audition room he is surrounded by his dad and brothers and we get the sob story his family is struggling and now he has a chance to change and help his family. J.B.'s dad is crying. I was just not moved by J.B.'s story but there is one coming up where I was. I guess I am just fickle.

Michael Gurr's audition clip starts with him getting more and more nervous as the day moves forward. If you can't even handle auditions how are you going to handle the spotlight? Naturally he is so nervous he really can't audition. He chooses "Starts with Goodbye" - a song made famous by Carrie Underwood (see prior paragraph). What a joke! He was mumbling so bad you couldn't tell what he was singing. Simon was funny when he told him you could have been singing in Bulgarian for all they could understand. Michael wants another chance but thankfully is shown the door. Apparently after he left the room he either fainted, hyperventilated or something because he was sitting on the floor and was being helped.

Cue the montage of some very bad singers. Will Kunick murders "Mad World", D. J. Bradley strikes out with "It's All Coming Back to Me", a man trying to tackle Celine Dion, and finally Shawn Vasquez killing Dionne Warwick's "I'll Never Love This way Again".

Xray aka Andre Caraway is way too F&*kin Little Mary Sunshine for me. He was so Happy go lucky it was down right scary, he must have been on something, he was way too hyper, where's the Ritalin when you need it. The audition song was "Cactus Baby". I had never heard of it which is a god send since it was so frickin bad. Randy was laughing; Kara was speechless with Paula and Simon passing. He tries to sing again but his escorted out by security. Not fast enough for me!

Arianna Afsar (16) from San Diego is next. She is way too young and cutesy for this competition. Arianna started "Adopt a Grandfriend" where teens perform for seniors at various retirement/assisted living, etc. locations. I guess if your audience is hard of hearing you can get a way with a lot. Arianna sang "Put Your Records On" and she was okay, her voice was sweet but she isn't ready for this. The judges voted her through but I can't see her making it to the semi-final rounds.


Day 1 comes to an end and only 9 people got a golden ticket and we only saw 3. I can only pray they have more talent then what we have seen so far.


Day 2:

We start of with a montage of some seriously bad auditions from prior seasons.

Elijah Scarlett has a very, very, very, very low voice. It is freakishly low. Elijah attempts "My First, My Last, My Everything" and all I was thinking was are you done yet. It was horrible, boring, and so monotone it was ridiculous. Luckily Elijah got the boot.

Next up is bright and smiley 16 year old Lea Marie Golde dressed up in pink with a matching pink cowboy hat. Julia Roberts as Shelby in "Steel Magnolia's" can get away with pink as can Reese Witherspoon in "Legally Blond" but Lea Marie was just too child like. Lea Marie is a songwriter and a big fan of Kara. She brought her scrapbook of songs, can we start the stalker conversation now! Lea Marie goes with "Every Time we Touch"; creepy for a 16 year old to sing although I guess she does have a split personality since she tells us she is a cross between Hilary Duff and Madonna. The audition sucked and she has a really, really bad nasally tone to her voice. Paula loves that she is a fan of Kara, Randy indicates she is not ready for the show, Simon says it was terrible and annoying and Kara says she sounds like she was in a musical - WHAT? It is a no. Unfortunately in the after clip she makes a promise to return next year! Once again can I say stalker!

Stevie Wright (16) from California is next. Her mother named her after Stevie Nicks. She goes with "At Last" and she was freakin' great. This was the first contestant where I really sat up and listened. I really liked her voice, the control she had, and her ability to produce the emotion. Her enunciation was crystal clear. Stevie gets her golden ticket and it is well deserved. Simon loves her voice, Randy thinks she was born with her talent, Kara thinks there is something there and gasp - Paula compares her to Kelly Clarkson.

Michael Sarver (27) from Texas is next. He is a rough neck working on an oil rig with a family that he is away from for a week at a time. Simon indicates Michael is the opposite of Ryan, which did cause me to laugh out loud. Michael goes with "Thank You". I also liked this audition. I though Michael had good control, he was on pitch, and his enunciation was clear. There was a unanimous yes from the judges.

We then get another montage of very bad auditions from Phoenix; they didn't even identify the contestants.

Finally we are up to the big tease from all the commercials and teasers, "Bikini Girl" aka Katrina Darrell is up. The build up to this audition was heavy hyped. Bikini Girl does have a hot body and her butt is pretty damn good as Simon and Randy got to watch several times but outside of her body I don’t believe she has much to offer. Her attitude sucks, way too conceited. Bikini Girl goes with "Vision of Love", now we have someone who wants to tackle Mariah, does no one watch this show or read my blog. This is one of my favorite songs and I simple was not impressed. I will give her credit she was on pitch but it was way too karaoke for me. I would not raise a finger to vote for her. Simon says beautiful (and this is in reference to what?). Randy indicates she has potential (perhaps for a roll in the hay), Kara and Paula protest and Kara actually sings the same portion of the song (100 times better by the way) and explains to Bikini Girl she doesn't have the voice for the song and Bikini Girl retorts back "well your demonstration wasn't any better!". Does she know who has to vote her through? She gets her golden ticket which is scary but after she leaves both Kara and Paula indicates she was terrible. After her audition she went looking for Ryan because she wanted to make out with him even though he told her it was against the rules. She does kiss him but Ryan simply tells her to take a dip in the pool.

Next up is a big montage about how Simon can't pronounce Kara's name correctly and there are apparently several others as well. Do we not teach phonetics anymore?

Sexual Chocolate is our next contestant, yes I kid you not but actually is Eric Thomas. He has it tattooed on his back and Kara and Paula makes him show it. Naturally Sexual can't sing and is shown the door.

Brianna Guijada (22) from Arizona is up next. Poor Brianna another happy shiny person who is way too hyper and overexcited for my taste. She goes with "Let's Hear It for the Boy" and all I can say is let's not hear it from Brianna, it was bad. Paula asks for another song and she attempts to tackle "Killing Me Softly With your Song" and once again she was killing me with her voice. Brianna whined and actually called Simon "Simey", gag me! Kara and Paula think she is fun and Simon actually indicates he likes her. Kara and Randy vote not, Paula and Simon vote yes so she is going to Hollywood. Heaven help us.

It is time for another montage, this one about families or in my book the biggest enablers to these contestants! It all leads up to Deanna Brown who came alone, what does she want a pity party? She asks some stranger to be her family; this is way too cute for me. Deanna is 25 from Kentucky and I am the last person to talk about someone's look but please, her eyes were just plain creepy. Deanna tries "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay". Once again she was okay. Her voice has a certainly smoky quality to it but I am not sure she would go far in the competition; however, she gets her golden ticket.

Cody Shelton (17) from Michigan is up next. Cody loves horror films and he writes and films his own. Cody goes with "Wonderful World" and is actually pretty damn good. His voice has great tone; he had good control and can enunciate. My one beef was his hair, it reminded me of Danny Noriega from last season but even more it was frickin' covering one side of his face. I hate that; it is a big pet peeve. Kara is surprised and explains Cody's voice and look don't match up. Cody is going to Hollywood!

The next montage was just stupid with a bunch of auditioners answering Simon's question as to which 3 countries they'll be famous in. Naturally there are way too many stupid people to understand the difference between a city, state and country!

Alex Wagner-Trugman (19) years old from California. Alex is the geek. We learn he use to sing in his closet at night but he got sick because of the mold, naturally Simon starts out with "so you just came out of the closet." Ha, Ha! Alex wants to go with "Baby, Come To Me" but only if Randy sings with the chorus. Interesting choice since this was a duet with James Ingram and Patti Austin. I actually love this song and the reason why is just not important and would take too long to explain. I have to say I was happily surprised by the purity of Alex's voice. It was good, he was on pitch and he can enunciate. His movements on the other hand sucked. Randy, Paula and Kara say yes. Alex is going to Hollywood.

We get one final montage of contestants butchering "Wanted Dead or Alive".

Our final contestant for day two is Scott MacIntrye (23) from Arizona and he is blind. He explains he can only see the width of a key on the piano, it is like being in a tunnel. . Scott plays the piano and explains music compensates for his lack of sight. He learned the piano by learning distances. Scott hopes to inspire people no matter what happens on the show. He went to college at 14 and graduated at 19. This is the back story which moved me. I don't know him but clearly Scott is a great person. Scott sings "And So It Goes". Oh my god, he has a great voice, the tone is so pure. He is definitely one I want to hear more from. Scott gets his ticket to Hollywood.

I can't wrap up without saying what the hell was going on with Ryan last night. He was not on his best game and can I say, what is up with trying to high five a blind man?


This brings us to the end of the first audition show. 27 golden tickets were given and we saw 11 or 41% of the total passed through to Hollywood from Phoenix. I certainly hope the other 60% are freakin great!

While there have been some changes the tone of the show remains the same. I actually like the new judge and believe Kara right on with some of her comments. Paula was unusually lucid during the episode. Randy and Simon remain the same - yeah!

Tonight we are off to Kansas City and another round of cheering, screaming and musical train wrecks.

Until tomorrow...