AI 11: 1-22-12 San Diego

Somewhere near the Pacific, there are 10,000 hopefuls with a dream. What they do not know is this audition is not like any other. We are on the USS Midway in the heart of San Diego and what better place for the battle for the next superstar. This is AMERICAN IDOL!

Why must Fox ruin my Sunday by scheduling an American Idol audition show? I rush home to see the program to find out a ridiculous stupid football game went into overtime so it will push back all the programming. It forces me to leave the game muted so I would not miss the auditions. I will also have to wait now to see “Once Upon a Time” on-line. The wait had better be worth it and heaven help the producers if they waste too much of my time.

Oh joy I can see how this episode is going to drag on. There is no doubt since we are on an aircraft carrier (REALLY?) that the “Top Gun” references will fill the night. The USS Midway is central command for AI and overseeing it all is the “Rock Star”, the “Dawg”, the “fly girl”, and Ryan. Shoot me now and get it over with stat!

Enough about me let us dish the dirt about the auditions.

Day 1

Our first audition of the day is Jennifer Diley who considers herself a patriot and wants to inspire the crew wearing practically nothing at all. Why or why must we endure her walking up the stairs in slow motion from behind? I just want to scream. This is not going to end well. Steven tells her “it is against the law to be that cute.” Jennifer auditions with “With You” and butchers it badly. Steven tells her that her voice lacks the fire her outfit has. Randy says that if you dress like that you really have to “blow” us away (wink, wink). J Lo says it does not matter what she wore. Jennifer asks to sing again and Randy tells her that if they do not like her she has to go. Jennifer attempts “Hero” and sucks even worse. This audition is a time waster Mr. producer.

Cue the video montage about how wonderful it is to audition on a docking bay of an aircraft carrier where we have to endure plane noises, boat horns, and Steven Tyler cursing (bleep, bleep).

Ashley Robles is 26, a single mom, an insurance account manager, and a DJ who arrives with her five-year-old daughter who steals the show from her mom and plans to be her backup dancer. Ashley auditions with “I Will Always Love You” (the Whitney version). As she began, I was not exactly impressed but when she reached the chorus then her voice soared. She has a very strong voice and nice tone but she needs to stay away from trying to impersonate another singer and find her own voice with the material. Randy wonders where she has been this whole time. Steven predicts that she will be big. Ashley is going to Hollywood.

Jayrah Gibson states he cannot write or sing, he can only sing. I kid you not it was in his “contestant cam”. Jayrah indicates there is no plan b, only plan A to succeed and be the next American Idol. Jayrah starts with a song he wrote for Jennifer called “Shake Your Money Maker” and Ronald just shakes his head. I was not impressed. Then he performs “Just Friends” and he still did not impress me. The tone of his voice irritated me. I would have sent him packing; however, the judges were impressed. Randy notes the show has not had a big R&B star in awhile, Steven thinks he has everything, and Jennifer looks forward to hearing something more melodic. Jayrah is heading to Hollywood.

Cue montage of the morning in San Diego going well with more contestants getting a golden ticket, however, we do not get to hear them perform or know their name.

Aubree Dieckmeyer is here because she wants to be America’s Next Top Model. Really? We waste more time as they keep repeating her interview where she continues to be unable to state she is here to be the next American Idol. Aubree goes with “Feeling Good” and I think she sounds weird; there is just something annoying about her voice, which I am unable to articulate. Her performance skills were non-existent. The judges again were drooling over themselves about how great she was. Jennifer indicates there is a sweet sound to your voice and the way you controlled the runs. Randy indicates you have a natural talent in how you connected the runs but did state she lost power in her upper register. Steven likes the flavor in her voice but agrees with Randy. The judges send her on to Hollywood.

Our final contestant for the day is Ali Shields who is here thanks to Ellen DeGeneres. Ali wrote a song for Ellen who naturally put her on daytime television as well as sending her to the American Music Awards to offer commentary. Ali explains that Ellen made her think anything is possible. I think Ellen is exacting revenge for not being asked to return to judge for a second season. Ali decides to rap instead of sing and Ronald screams in terror. This was the fingernail down the blackboard moment of the night. Ali then sings “Like a Star” and it was marginally better but the poor girl was sharp whenever she tried to push herself. The only thing going for Ali is she has personality to spare and this may help you with performing but you do need to have a modicum of talent in order to succeed. I loved Jennifer stating, “You can sing a little!” The judges still send her through to Hollywood for a reason I cannot fathom.

Day 2

Frat boy Kyle Cruse is our first contestant of the day and he dedicates his song “Angel of Mine” to Jennifer. I will give him credit in that his voice has a nice tone. I also thought he made some interesting choices with the melody but I do not think he is American Idol material. The judges on the other hand indicated it was the best male voice they have heard so far. Kyle gets to take his frat boy partying to Hollywood where Ronald is convinced he will crash and burn!

Cue video montage dealing with the noises and a host of singers who are heading home without a golden ticket.

Jane Carrey is a mom, server and a musician. She is wants to be able to make it on her own versus using her family connections. Jane’s father is Jim Carrey. I was impressed with the way Jane presented herself; she was charming, well spoken and poised. I had to laugh when Jennifer realized who she was and that she was probably only two when her dad was “On Living Color” when Jennifer was a fly girl. Jennifer suddenly feels old, “when did this happen” as she puts her head to the table. Jane performs “Something to talk about” and when she started, it was rather dull but as she gained confidence, she kicked it up a notch and showed some vocal talent. I think she has a pleasant voice but she is definitely not the next American Idol. Randy states she has potential, Steven loves what she did with the melody but needs more volume and Jennifer feels she needs to work on her performing skills; however, they send her through to Hollywood. There was no doubt in my mind that Jane was going to Hollywood; the producers are not stupid since it will make for good television especially if Jim Carrey is in the audience.

Our final contestant of the day is Jason “Wolf” Hamlin who is a mechanic on a golf course. Wolf’s dad built him a guitar 3 years ago and he wants to share it with the world since his dad passed away in 2010. Wolf auditions with “Midnight Special” and it was a bit over the top for my tastes. The judges ask him to perform a different song and he asks if he can play my “git-fiddle?” I kid you not. The judges say yes so Wolf lets loose with “Folsom Prison Blues.” This song really shows off his voice and shows some potential. The judges send him through to Hollywood.

Well our time in San Diego ends with 53 contestants getting a golden ticket while we hear only six. What is wrong with this picture? There is no reason this episode could not have waited until Wednesday. I think this was the most boring audition episode so far. The American Idol bus is heading for Aspen Colorado and I can only hope there are more entertaining contestants in our future.