American Idol 7 - Audition Episode 6 - 1/30/08

Tonight’s audition episode is from Miami. I found it just a bit cheesy to try and imitate the “Miami Vice” opening; they changed the AI logo and used some of the same edited shots including the pink flamingos. Outside of a few of us older viewers I couldn’t image many catching that obscure pop culture reference.

In Miami we are told over 10,000 people auditioned but only 17 received the coveted golden ticket, this is two less then Omaha making it the lowest number audition city to date. After listening to some of the contestants I understand completely.

I also found it cheesy to have the stadium people singing “The Rhythm is going to Get You”. I really need to be on the production staff.

Our first contestant is Shannon McGough who can seriously belch, she hasn’t found a man who could beat her, and unfortunately we had to see way too many examples! Poor Shannon has to work with her parents in their meat market and she dreams of getting out of there. Shannon you see has won lots of singing contests and her parents have the pictures and awards to prove it. I hated her outfit.

Shannon chooses “Cry Baby” and pretty much butchers the song. It should be noted Shannon wasn’t singing but rather shouting and not very good. She also had these weird modulations and only god knows what key she was singing because there was no melody. Simon advises her that he had a late night and she didn’t make him feel any better. I couldn’t understand a word you said, she tries to sing something else and he advises her it sounds like you are eating. He threw in some type of Hungarian reference I didn’t really catch. Randy indicates he couldn’t hear any melody. Paula indicates she has a nice tone to her voice (how could she tell) but there was a melody problem. It is a no. Shannon is completely shocked and another contestant who doesn’t take rejection well. She goes off and off and off. Clearly her parents are enablers because they too were shocked because she can sing. Shannon advises us she is done with American Idol and tells the audience they shouldn’t watch the show anymore.

Next up is Robbie Carrico, a former member of a boy-band (unnamed or at least I didn’t hear what it was) yet Robbie has morphed into being a rocker. I definitely wouldn’t classify him as a rocker, he did have long hair but the song he chose to audition with was not a rocker song in my book. I didn’t catch the title. Robbie was good, there was a nice tone to his voice and thankfully he was in tune, no pitch problems here. Simon indicates you are quite good and says yes. Randy indicates he has a nice voice, kinda cool and says yes as well. Paula says something about how she could feel him (scary) but says yes. Robbie is going to Hollywood.

We are then presented with a montage of incredibly bad male contestants.

Chaleb Ehachah was up next. Chaleb is from Venezuela and he does have a thick accent. We learn he is a singer musician who can play the guitar, piano and harmonica. He describes his style as gypsy music and indicates he has great passion. Once again I didn’t recognize the song he sang nor could I understand a word he was saying. I don’t think it was very good and he had several pitch issues. Simon states I would like you if I was drunk but sober it doesn’t work and votes no. Paula likes the tone of his voice (she liked more than that) but feels his strong accent will work against him. Simon presses her for a definitive answer and Paula pipes up with now you know what I have to deal with, she gets up and turns her back. Randy says yes based on his voice. It comes down to Paula and she says yes. Chaleb is heading to Hollywood. The ending of this clip was great as Simon holds up Paula’s Coca-cola cup and asks someone to check out the contents.

Best friends Corliss Smith and Brittany Wescott, both 20, and are plus size women arty out next. They tell everyone they are sisters because they have so much in common except for the type of men they like, Brittany goes for the skinny type while Corliss goes for the bigger guys. Ryan wonders if they just came to the auditions to find boyfriends since we get so much footage of them with various men.

Our best friends have to audition together and we get so much flirting from the girls towards Simon and Randy. Simon indicates he has never seen Randy smile so much. Simon wants to hear them separately and asks Corliss to sing just to Randy so he and Paula move over. Corliss chooses “Take Five”. To my utter surprise she was damn good; I really thought we were getting some train wrecks. She needs some training but Corliss has some raw talent. She could enunciate and she was in key. Brittany goes with “My Guy” and Brittany is definitely the better of the two. She has power, great tone, and was very articulate. There was lots of joy in the audition room and both women get yeses from all the judges. There are hugs for the judges from Brittany and Corliss. If there was a diabetic in the room at the time they would have gone into shock with all the sugar flowing.

Reader alert it is yet another sob story audition. Suzanne Tune explains she is 21; she had attended a performance art school and was in several musicals but had to take time off. She got pregnant when she was 18 and gave birth to Madison. She was in a relationship at the time and initially Madison’s father stuck around but ended up leaving them which is why she is a single mom, yada, yada, yada! Suzanne is very excited about the opportunity American Idol could provide her.

Suzanne chooses “I Can’t make you Love Me”. I wasn’t really impressed but her voice was okay but she had quite a few pitch problems. Paula liked the sultriness of her voice, it was sexy. Simon indicates she got more attractive as she sang and Randy indicates there was seduction but she needs to watch the pitch and the melody. She gets a yes from all the judges.

The producers rolled out footage of Jasmine Trias from Season 3 and it brought back so many horrible memories I was getting nauseous and my first thought was Jasmine was going to be there live. How exciting to hear she has had such success, her album went platinum in the Philippines – and I should care why?

The footage was just lead in for Ramiele Malubay who indicates she wants to be the first Asian American Idol, Jasmine Trias went so far in the competition so why can’t she. Ramiele chooses “Natural Woman” and in my opinion did okay but I wasn’t thrilled. I don’t think she started in the right key but she rallied for an okay ending. I could at least hear the melody. Paula indicates she has a fine voice, phenomenal and says yes. Simon thinks she is a good singer but for a hotel not a contemporary artist and says no. Randy is impressed with her big voice and also votes yes so Ramiele is on her way to Hollywood and her chance for the coveted title of American Idol. My prediction is she won’t make it to the top 24!

Sob stories number two. Syesha Mercado is next. She loves her dad but there have been problems, her dad has a drug and alcohol problem so he was in and out of her life but finally sought help and just graduated from a rehabilitation program. Dad is at the audition with her and he is so proud of his daughter, he loves, wants the best. Syesha is very proud of her dad as well. Syesha chooses “Think”. Syesha shouted more then she sang but there was a nice tone to her voice when I could hear the melody, she has potential but I am not sure she is ready. Paula indicates she is fantastic and votes yes. Randy indicates she lost it at the end but it was a good effort, felt she was the best out of Florida so far and votes yes. Simon just says yes. Syesha is going to Hollywood. I certainly didn’t hear what the judges were hearing. I guess I am really jaded about this stuff now.

We then get two quick auditions. We heard Natasha Black sing a verse of “At Last” and I have to say she gave me chills, it was pure magic, and her voice was fantastic. She gets yeses from all the judges.

Ilsy Lorena Pinot (I have to rant about this name, what the &*^% were her parents thinking!) is shown briefly singing “Unfaithful” and gets a yes from all three judges.

We then get a montage of 4 horrible singers (at least they were brief) including Ben Haarsbach, Caray Banthea, Grant Rhea (Simon tells Grant he thought he should be wearing a dress) and Fabienne Hyppolite. They were incredibly bad. Once again with the strange names.

Richard Valles gets way too much air time for one who sings like crap. Richard goes with “God Bless the Broken Road” and this was one of my fingers down the chalkboard moments. He sounded really, really bad, it was so nasally. Randy tells him you sound like you are singing out of your noise and demonstrates to him how he sounded. Richard goes home without a golden ticket.

Julie Dubela is next and surprises Ryan with the news she was a contestant on American Juniors 4 years ago when she was 12. We gets lots of clips from a show which was a disaster from the very beginning and aired after the disastrous Season 3 of American Idol (there has never been a poorer showing of a top 12 group then that one). Julie is clearly a teenager including their poor way of communicating thanks to texting and the whole me, me, me it is all about me! Julie tells us music is her life, her dream, she is not a quitter and she doesn’t believe in mediocrity. If I was a praying man I would have prayed to be saved from this contestant.

Julie goes with “Me and Bobby McGee” and Janis Joplin rolled over in her grave. Julie’s performance was over the top and not in a good way. She was bad with a Capital B, scary! This performance was another finger down the chalkboard moment. Simon advises it was way over rehearsed. He asks her if she has ever been called precocious and she responds by asking “What does it mean?” Randy indicates her voice was not on point and she is not ready yet. Julie being the typical teenager can’t keep her mouth shut and tries to sing something else and talks back as if the judges were parents, I wanted to slap her. They advise her to stop acting for the camera. Paula tells her she should be an actress. Julie gets three no’s. We then get lots of footage of her pouting and complaining. She was asked to sing at a Red Sox Game and she said no for the audition. Julie continues rattling on about not acting. Give it a break Julie, if the show continues for the next 4 years which is how much longer the principles are signed for she will have plenty of chances to audition, she doesn’t reach the maximum age limit for 12 years!

Our final contestant after two days in Miami is Brandon Black. Too much time was spent on this disaster. Brandon energetically bounces into the audition room with a ridiculous wig and some attempt at a comedic introduction with some strange voices of characters talking to each other. Then off with the wig for the audition. Brandon chooses “I’ll Make Love to you” and Paula has a second stalker. It was a train-wreck. Brandon then launches into his own composition titled “I’m the Next American Idol”, which was a total waste of time. Simon breaks in and advises him the audition was verging on desperation, he didn’t like any of it, the wig, the horrible dialogue and the weird singing but Brandon won’t shut up. Simon and Randy get up and leave with Randy shouting you will never, never, never be going to Hollywood. Paula is uncomfortable and says goodbye.

We are then presented with a montage of the good and the bad.

Next Tuesday the auditions take us to Ryan’s home town of Atlanta. Until next week!

American Idol 7 - Audition Episode 5 - 1/29/08

Tonight we visit Omaha, Nebraska where approximately 10,000 people auditioned but only 19 received their golden ticket. This is the smallest number of all the audition cities so far.

Paula’s plane is late so the auditions start with just Randy and Simon.

Our first victim, excuse me, our first contestant is Chris Burnheisel (I am not joking). This was one very enthusiastic contestant, he was very happy and indicates he is so excited he could explode and send his happiness everywhere (not that I want to see Chris explode but the world could use a dose of happiness)! Chris has waited through all 6 seasons to audition but never had the money to travel to the audition cities so the fact that they are in Omaha makes him very, very, very, very happy and enthusiastic. Chris explains to the camera that “American Idol is like, the biggest life alternating change in my life”.

Chris comes into the audition room with a bag of presents. Simon indicates “I always like a bribe.” Randy gets a stuffed dog, Simon gets a t-shirt with England on it, and Paula gets a stuffed cat. Chris also had an album of pictures of him and Kelly Clarkson (it is not clear if those are photo shopped or real but I would have to believe the former because if he couldn’t afford to go to audition cities how in the world could he attend multiple events with Kelly). Chris breaks down emotionally telling the judges that Idol is about giving people a second chance at their dreams.

Chris chooses “Since You’ve Been Gone”; oh please I could see the train wreck coming. Chris was not good, he was horrible. He was incredibly enthusiastic in his performance throwing in a handstand to the mix. Simon advises Chris that he likes him, loved the bribe but the singing wasn’t good enough. Randy indicates he has a good heart and has a warm personality.

Chris then asks to audition for red carpet introductions for the show. Chris does an okay job but Ryan doesn’t have anything to worry about it. Simon asks Chris who the local fox station is, Fox 42 for those who care. Simon tells Chris to inform the affiliate that he should report for the finale. Chris is so overcome with emotion I thought he was going to take off. Simon says that if they give him trouble they should call them. Chris goes happily out of the room not realizing he is leaving without a golden ticket. Randy tells him “You’re the next Seacrest”.

I have never seen a person get a no and leave happily jumping up and down all the way out the building and still shouting for joy. He is one seriously disturbed individual.

Jason Rich is next. He is 21 and works part-time on a farm for his girlfriend’s dad. Jason hails from a very small town in Iowa. Jason definitely has the looks to be an idol. Jason was incredibly nervous. He chooses a country song, “When You Say Nothing At All” and naturally forgets the lyrics. Jason has a very good voice; it was very rich in tone. The usual impatient Simon actually gave him several chances, it was on the 4th try that he managed to get through his audition and I was impressed by the quality of his voice. Randy likes his voice but isn’t sure if he has star quality. Simon agrees he was good. They both give him a yes for Hollywood but Simon advised him as he was leaving that he won’t get another chance like that, if he were to freeze like that on a live show we wouldn’t be on the air for very long.

Paula finally arrives and we are treated with a montage of contestants forgetting the lyrics so you know they were in the reject pile.

Rachael Wicker who is a 6 time arm wrestling champion is our next contestant. We get way to much footage of her beating everyone at arm wrestling including Ryan. Rachael really wants to arm wrestle Simon but he advises she could beat him so he declines. Rachael goes with “Don’t Stop to Tell My Heart” and she wasn’t that bad. Her voice had a nice pure tone and she was in key. I had a big problem with her slouching and her outfit sucked big time. I suspect she could do well but she has to pick up some performance skills or she will just be standing on the stage singing which would be boring. Simon indicates she was performing as if she had been doing this for 50 years and was at the end of her career. Randy likes her voice but not the half-yodel effect but does say yes based on her voice. Simon says no but Paula says yes. Rachael gets to arm wrestle Paula before leaving. Rachael is on her way to Hollywood.

Next up is Goth girl Sarah Whitaker who advises us she used to be a professional wrestler, her character was the English Lady Morgue (accent and all) who was famous for her maniacal laugh which was strange but it wouldn’t make me run in fear. I did enjoy her giving Ryan a light tap (some type of wrestling move). I couldn’t understand much of what Sarah was singing so I don’t know what the song was but it doesn’t matter she was overtop bad. Simon indicates that song was like the soundtrack of this town, you are really strange and I can’t imagine you singing that as the final song on the show. Randy says no, Paula says yes (Paula are you nuts), but Simon says no and Sarah is not going to Hollywood.

We then have Ryan coming back in the audition room asking why they didn’t put her through and advises she is not happy (SO!) We have a big back and forth about which job is harder with Ryan and Paula switching jobs.

Samantha Sidley is the next contestant. She is terribly shy and looks really young. Samantha chooses “I Don’t Know Why” and her voice was good but compared to Chris she was a dud in the personality category, almost like a lump of coal standing there. Ryan indicates he likes her voice but she lacks self-confidence. Simon likes the performance. Paula comes back and kicks Ryan out who states he would vote yes. Paula feels Samantha can sing but has to work on her showmanship. Randy says yes. Samantha gets a golden ticket to Hollywood.

We then get three very quick montages of contestants who get a yes, Elizabeth Ekert, Denise Johnson and Michael Sanflippe (I did like Michael). It was funny as Elizabeth is riding down the escalator she is looking at the camera and shouts she is going to be America’s next top model!

Angela Puente is our very long lets pull the heart string story of the night. She is 17 and living with her grandmother because she has issues with her strict father and breaks down crying because they use to be best friends, yada, yada, yada. Angela goes with Celine Dion’s “Power of Love”, what is wrong with these contestants, she was way over the top and I personally didn’t really recognize the melody when she was singing. Angela did not impress me. Paula indicates she can sing but her lack of performance skills and confidence will hurt her but says yes. Randy indicates she needs to stop listening to the record and decide who she is as a performer but he likes the sound of her voice and also votes yes. Simon advises with a little effort she could be good, she needs to clean up her nervousness but votes yes. Angela is heading to Hollywood. The clip ends with Ryan calling her dad and advises she is going to Hollywood and of course dad tells her he is very proud of her. Oh please, put me out of my misery now!

We are then presented a montage of rocker contestants’ ala Chris Daughtry.

David Cook 24 bartender/musician hailing from Tulsa is up next. He looked like a combination of Blake Lewis with the argyle sweater and he who should not be named and his strange hair color and faux Mohawk, heaven help us. David advises the judge that he is vocally versatile and personable. He chooses “Living on a Prayer” It was an interesting arrangement but David does have a good voice and he could definitely sustain a note. Simon indicates he was good and says yes, Paula says yes, Randy indicates he has a good voice and he has some personality, three yeses and David is off to Hollywood.

Johnny Escamilla is next. Johnny admits to being weird and he compares himself to James Brown (excuse me). Johnny is wearing a gold lame jacket, I don’t mind personal style but you need to make it work and he definitely could not pull that off and he isn’t auditioning for a Vegas lounge act. Johnny chooses “Shout” as his audition song, come on. It was loud and over the top, I actually never heard him say the word shout either. This was way too karaoke for me. Simon jokes he scared away Paula’s hiccups. Simon tells him he hated everything, the jacket, the singing and the dancing, it is a no. Paula and Randy pass on Johnny as well.

We are then presented with a montage of the no’s from Omaha.

Our final contestant from Omaha is Leo Marlowe from a very small town of 200 people and indicates his mom jokes that she raised the perfect homecoming queen and it is too bad it wasn’t one of her daughters; referencing his very upbeat personality but not as over the top as Chris’s was. Leo goes with “A Song for you” and I have to say I was very much surprised, he was very good, and I was impressed. Leo has a very good voice. Simon indicates he likes his voice and openness, Randy agrees, and Paula was over the top on liking him (rein it in Paula). Leo is going to Hollywood.

Our next audition city is Miami, Florida. Until tomorrow!

American Idol 7 Audition Episode 4 1/23/2008

Beat me up later, I realize I am very late in posting my comments but life and time got away from me.

On Wednesday evening American Idol found its way to Charleston, South Carolina. It was the show’s first visit. We are told over 10,000 people came out to audition.

Our first contestant was Oliver Highman but his audition was postponed because his wife was 37 weeks pregnant and her water broke. We get to follow Oliver and his wife throughout the episode. Isn’t this like Phil Stacey from last season?

Ray Henderson or as he prefers Raysharde (what is up with that) is the first contestant we get to actually see auditioning. He advises us he is unemployed and a complete nut, he is always smiling. He is referred to as the black Clay Aiken. Heaven help us. Ray goes with “I Can’t Make You Love Me”. I can tell tonight is not going to be good. Raysharde was completely over the top and what is with all those gestures. Give me a friggin break. He was doing way too much so there wasn’t anyway to really tell what the tone quality of his voice was. Randy indicated it was way too over the top. Paula said it was too theatrical and not pop. Simon indicated it was like a 70’s cruise ship cabaret. Randy tells Ray to find himself and not mimic others. Ray goes home empty handed.

Next up is DeAnna Prevatte, she made sure everyone understood it is deAnna with a Capital A. DeAnna compares herself to Kellie Pickler, this was my first clue something is amiss. She loves her song “Little Red Shoes”. I also had to endure watching the Kellie Pickler calamari clip again and all I could do was shout NO NO NO NO! DeAnna is a waitress. Simon asks her who her worst customer was and she went on a tirade about all the Sunday all you can eat buffet crowd. This went on way too long lets just get to the train wreck and yes I knew it wouldn’t be good.

DeAnna went with “Fancy” and all I can say is she has great volume because she was shouting the song. In addition like Ray before her she was way too manic in her movements and she got down on the ground like Fantasia, something I hated then and still do. Simon tells DeAnna she is like a tiger but angry and she pipes back that it is suppose to be an angry song. She gets a NO from all the judges.

The next contestants get a lot of air time I could have done without. Crystal Ortiz and Randy Stark met on americanidol.com message board and became close friends, developed an on-line relationship and they met for the first time in Charleston and we got to see the very spot it occurred and they re-created the moment. Lots and lots of footage of them playing tongue hockey! Randy advises us he gives audition advice on the message board. I could see how this was going to turn out from a mile away.

Crystal and Randy go with “She’s More”. It was shockingly horrible. I thought Ray sounded like Tiny Tim; there was this horrid echoing sound from his voice. Crystal asks if she should sing at family gatherings and Simon answers no. Simon indicates the audition was complete torture, it was horrible. The couple get a no from all the judges but they tell them at least they found each other (gag me). Crystal comments she now realizes her parents had been lying to her when they said she was good. Lesson learned!

Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin are next, brother and sister who are definitely not Donny and Marie. The time spent on Jeffrey’s outfit wasn’t needed but he needs a stylist. The siblings choose “I’m Your Angel”. Jeffrey actually has a very good tone to his voice; I thought he was singing in a too high register though. Michelle was okay but there was no wow for me on either one. Jeffrey and Michelle also were way over the top with their gestures as well. Simon indicates he didn’t like the ending but compared to what they have seen they were a breath of fresh air but liked Jeffrey more. Paula indicates Jeffrey has a beautiful tone and gives them both a yes. Randy indicates they were in pitch but only gives a yes to Jeffrey. Simon sides with Paula and gives them both a yes but advises Jeffrey he needs to get Michelle into vocal shape before they arrive in Hollywood.

We are then presented with a parade of obvious no’s butchering “Before He Cheats”.

Amy Catherine Flynn is next. Amy is an obnoxious cheerleader who leads a group teaching abstinence (her arguments were stupid but I digress). Amy went with “Reflections”. I wasn’t particularly impressed by Amy, her audition was okay but I was not wowed. Simon advises the song was too big for her. It was like “a naughty girl singing in the bedroom.” Simon states there will be those who like her and those who don’t (count me in that category) because she is overly confident and annoying, you are not as good as you think you are. Randy likes her voice and feels she has potential. Paula indicates there were moments at the end which were beautiful. The judges give her a yes and Amy is going to Hollywood. Simon and Randy encourage her to give her abstinence speech to Ryan.

Our last contestant of day one is London Weidberg. London lost her father to cancer 3 years ago and put music aside to take care of him. There is lots of footage of London and her mother Robin is thrown in as well. London chooses a song which is outside of the usual which was at least a breath of fresh air. She goes with “Good Morning Heartache”. I actually enjoyed the audition. She has a very nice voice but I don’t think she can win. Randy indicates she has a nice tone, not the best audition but he gives her a yes. Paula states her tone is engaging as it has a pop quality but also a bluesy feel and gives a yes. Simon liked the audition but doesn’t feel she is unique enough but gives her a yes. London is heading to Hollywood!

Day one ends with a montage of all the other contestants heading to Hollywood. A total of 15 were given a golden ticket.

Day two starts with Lindsey Goodman, an Air Force pilot. We get a lot of footage of planes, her base, and others in her unit. Lindsey goes with “Black Velvet”. A song I really like. Lindsey was not good, her voice was quaking, and she wasn’t always in key. It may have been her nerves but if you can’t sing for 60 seconds for these three you couldn’t survive on stage before a thousand people. Randy indicated it was a little pitchy but he liked it overall but has to say no. Paula indicates she is concerned about her nerves; it held her back and also says no. Simon indicates she would be a good cabaret singer but not a contemporary artist and also says no.

Aretha Codner is the next contestant. Aretha gets lots of air time and we have to hear her mother named her after Aretha Franklin because she loved her voice so much and wanted her daughter to sing like her. I don’t even have to hear her to know how this is going to go. I don’t want to offend but let’s just say Aretha is very well endowed in the chest area but doesn’t know how to dress. I am not quite sure where she was getting support. Her dress was clinging and what was up with that huge belt.

Aretha tells the judges she is as good as all the past idols (this won’t be pretty, don’t boast like that it always gets you into trouble). Aretha is going with “I Have Nothing”. Now I know it will be horrible because she goes with a song done by Whitney Houston. Her audition was the bottom of the barrel. She was all over the place, her voice sucked, her tone, she was off-key and again with the overpowering gestures. Randy indicates she was hard to listen to, it was way too high of a register, Paula indicates she changed keys, it was pitchy and Simon indicates she was screaming, it was terrible, it was murder.

Naturally Aretha fights back and disagrees, she has a beautiful voice because her family tells her so (enablers!) and she stops crowds with Simon piping in so they can disappear. Aretha will just not shut up and indicates she has heard the people they have let through to Hollywood and she is better then they are. Simon finally has to tell her to leave. Her exit wasn’t pretty.

Joshua Boson is the next victim. Joshua is another deluded soul. Joshua chooses “I’m Telling You I’m Not Going”. He is the second male choosing this song. I realize this is a genderless song in words but it is so tied to Effie in Dreamgirls! If you didn’t catch this audition you are lucky. This was my fingers down the chalkboard moment. Joshua murdered the melody and the key it was in and another contestant with over the top performing gestures and movements. The judges are speechless and he offers to sing something else. Please no! He offers to the judges that he has had no formal training as if it wasn’t obvious from the moment he uttered the first note.

Simon indicates he wasn’t great, Randy indicates it is not good enough and all Paula can say is that he was passionate. Joshua then goes off indicating the auditions are fake and rigged, they should not come back to South Carolina because this is what they will get. As he leaves more shouting, lots of cussing, and he advises he doesn’t want to be an American Idol but rather the World Idol. The joke will be on the judges.

We are then presented with a montage of contestants who get a No.

Our last contestant of the 2nd day is yes you guessed it, Oliver Highman whose wife did have the baby, a girl. I don’t remember hearing the name though. Oliver chooses “Get Here”. The sad thing is I think Oliver has a nice voice but he went in the totally wrong direction for the audition. He was going with way too many modulations, he was using a very bad falsetto and he was over the top with performance movements. Simon indicates it was corny and over the top, Randy didn’t like the vibrato and falsetto, and Paula indicates he has a nice vote but it didn’t work. Oliver is at least gracious and asks if his wife and baby can come in which of course they say yes. We get the ohs and ahs over the baby and Oliver thanks them and indicates at least they have a great story to tell.

The episode ends with a montage of the contestants who got their golden ticket, we don’t hear their auditions, just see them celebrating as they come out of the room.

A total of 23 people were given that coveted golden Ticket.

Next Tuesday we are off to Omaha, Nebraska.

American Idol 7: Audition Episode 3 - 1/22/08

My opinion is the one hour installment of audition episodes works best because they move quickly, we get to see what we are there for, a few stellar performances and all those train wrecks. I also find it is more interesting for what we don’t see.

Tonight we visit San Diego which was the first audition city actually. Apparently 12, 000 people came out to audition but only 30 (the most of any city so far) received a golden ticket. This is actually less then 1% of the total.

We were treated to only 11 people getting the majority of air time which quick snippets of the good, the bad, and the horrible!

Here are my comments about the contestants.

Tetiana was first up. I couldn’t write fast enough to catch her last name, let alone try to spell. I will forgo my usual comments about naming children. Tetiana is definitely pretty and has the idol look but I wasn’t impressed at all. Her audition song was “Someone to Watch over Me”. I will give her credit for choosing a different type of song but she was running the risk of someone telling her it was too Broadway. Her voice was okay but nothing special. Simon indicates she’s not as good as she thinks she is which I agree. Randy and Paula disagree and vote yes and Simon in the end votes yes as well so Tetiana gets her ticket to Hollywood.

American Idol producers found a twist last night as we have a single father auditioning. Perrie (again with a stupid name) and his son Avian (what is up with these names?) are next to audition. Perrie explains that Avian’s mom’s death, wrong place, wrong time in 2005 was really hard (we must be talking about gang/drug violence is my guess) and he has matured into a new man and isn’t it terrible it takes such a tragedy, let’s say the obvious. Perrie goes with “I’ll Make Love to you”. I wasn’t wowed but he did have good vocal tone. Simon states he has a really, really good voice. Perrie gets a golden ticket and we end with little Avian telling the world he dad is going to Hollywood. Get out the harps, damn I am getting cynical.

Michael John is next who is from Australia via LA. Michael chooses an Otis Redding song I didn’t recognize and actually I really liked his voice. Michael definitely has the pop star/Idol look; he is boy band cute and has some natural performance talent. Simon says he likes a white soul singer, Paula states he has good control, and Randy was very impressed. Michael gets a golden ticket.

I was in shock three good auditions which naturally means trouble is on the way! The next three contestants are briefly shown butchering what ever song chosen. We had Marat, Christopher, and Tehilla.

Our next contestant, Valerie Reyes gets quite a bit of air time. We hear how Mariah Carey is her idol, she adores her, she walks around singing her songs and she often hears people saying is that Mariah and Valerie advises them it is actually her. Ryan asks Valerie what she thinks about the audition shows and Valerie admits she laughs at them because most people are terrible. Ryan asks her if that would be her and she says absolute not. I could see what was coming.

Valerie attempts “Against All Odds” (do these contestants ever watch this show, not one contestant or finalist can ever sing this song well). Valerie is totally and utterly tone deaf, she sucked big time. Simon shouts his “Oh my God” and I laughed out loud when he said that sounded like a Mariah Carey record that has been left out in the sun for a year and then someone puts in on to play. Randy told her she was terrible but if she could learn how to sing melody it could be better. Valerie goes home empty handed and we end with a video of her realizing she is going to be one of the bad auditions. It was a priceless moment.

We get a few more snippets of the ridiculous including Joseph and Juanita. One was doing pantomime while the other was butchering a song. I can’t believe your 15 minutes of fame is worth this ridicule.

Next up are friends Christopher and Monique, they work together. Monique is first with “I Believe in Miracles” by Whitney (what is wrong with these contestants, no one can do Whitney). Let us just say that Monique was so terrible it was totally painful. It was my first fingers down the chalkboard moment. The judges tell her it is not good and she attempts another one, do these people never learn it doesn’t work. Monique breaks down crying.

Christopher attempts “The Greatest Love of All”; women can’t sing Whitney so I can’t believe Christopher would choose this song. First of all he was totally out of tune, the song was practically unrecognizable and he was &*^% too loud. Christopher is also deaf to the judge’s reaction to his singing and attempts it again in a lower register and it is even more painful. Randy is actually pointing out every single note that was out of tune but Christopher keeps on singing until security finally escorts him out.

Christopher and Monique are the contestants who are shouting out comments which are of course bleeped out.

The last contestant from day one is Samantha Musa who is there with her sister Michelle. The sisters are obsessed with Simon which is interesting I suppose. Michelle is ushered in to the audition room and hands Simon a note, her sister pleads to meet them and Simon invites her in and offers his lap for her to sit on. Samantha is jealous. Samantha goes with “Until You Come Back to me” and she isn’t bad, I can’t say she was spectacular but came pretty close to being the best of the bunch. Michelle is asked her opinion and she votes yes, Randy and Paula like her and vote yes. Simon states it was a great audition and she gets 4 votes and a golden ticket to Hollywood.

Day two starts off with Blake who has auditioned at least 10 times since Season 3. Oh my god, it is the Statute of Liberty guy from Season 5. Blake’s mom Leslie fully supports his attempts to try out and sacrifices a lot so he can visit all these cities. She admits to being obsessed with the show. Blake chooses “Stand by me” and it wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t good either. He does not get the golden ticket thankfully. Blake is still young enough so I suspect we will see him again next season.

We are then shown 7 contestants very quickly all bad. They weren’t on long enough for me to scribble now their names.

We then get a big back story on Alberto, he of what has to be the longest nails I have ever seen and they didn't appear to be fake either. Alberto tells us he is shy but wants to feel free like the eagle on his shirt. Singing for him is like the ultimate rebuilding of my soul, it is my inspiration. He states he gets lost in his imagination, perhaps too much, he lives there. I am not sure where he lives but it definitely isn’t in any type of reality. Alberto comes in with a giant green fan with “I am the biggest American Idol Fan” and trust me I almost lost my dinner. He has a smaller gold fan with Paula’s name on it.

Alberto advises the judges he has written his own song titled “Live”. I don’t want to kick someone when they are down but it appears all he was repeating was a chorus of the word tragedy and there wasn’t any melody, it was actually sickening to listen to. Simon indicates the song is depressing and Alberto indicates the song ends happily but he never quite is able to get to a happy ending because Simon is interrupting because it really isn’t a happy sound. Alberto is told it is a no and we see his family defending his artistic and creative nature and the producers show Alberto running away with his fan and they fade to an eagle. Oh my god that was just tacky!

Aaron Garrett is next. I am not sure what he was singing but all he was doing was saying leave me alone now over and over again while he was snapping his fingers. Aaron gets a big fat NO!

David is next; he is 16 and previously had vocal paralysis. He overcame the problem without surgery because he really, really wants to sing. David goes with “Waiting on the World to Change” and although he made the fatal error about forgetting the lyrics he covered well and surprisingly was good. I enjoyed the performance, I sat up in my chair and there was a smile on my face. I felt good when he was done. It was nice hearing Randy do back up for him. Randy tells him he has a really good voice, Paula you have a nice tone, very mature for your age, great talent; Simon indicates he agrees with Paula and Randy. David is going to Hollywood.

Day 2 in San Diego ends with Carly Smithson who is from Ireland. She owns a tattoo shop with her husband and they clearly work on each other. Carly previously auditioned during Season 5 and got a golden ticket; however, they was a problem with her visa and she was disqualified. Carly goes with “I’m Every Woman” and she has a nice voice but she was singing with too many embellishments and they were good choices. She should have gone with a more toned down performance however the judges still give her an opportunity and she gets the golden ticket to Hollywood.

We are then presented with some very quick snippets of the other winners of the golden ticket from San Diego.

I am getting stoked about this season and we are only 3 episodes in.

Charleston, South Carolina is next. Until tomorrow!

American Idol Season 7 Audition Episode 2 - 1/16/08

American Idol visits Dallas, Texas for the second audition episode.

This is the city where Kelly Clarkson was discovered as we heard ad nuseam on Wednesday evening. Randy and Paula even piped in during one of the final auditions taking all the credit for passing through Kelly. Paula reminding Simon that during the Hollywood round he told them both he just did not get her.

I adore Kelly Clarkson but I don't have to hear about her every two seconds. Enough all ready about Kelly, let's get on with the auditions for Season 7.

Interesting way to start an episode with a very large drag queen telling us that everything's bigger in Texas. Enough with those jokes and did I have to see a mug of the current president which always makes me sick.
This is suppose to be entertainment not horror.

The auditions haven't even started and we start off with one of the contestants going into labor while in line and having a baby. I am going to rant again, she named it Idol. Give me a break, how ridiculous. Kids should be able to sue their parents over crap like that where they end up having to pay for legally changing their names. Okay I feel better now that I could rant a little.

Our first contestant has to have another one of those pull the heart string stories. Jessica Brown, 24 year old stay at home mom with two kids. She is okay now but use to be a meth addict and was arrested, etc. When she was in recovery she sang, Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel." She cried it was so emotional and the song was meant for her. We have her mother in the video explaining she is back to who she is.Jessica chose "I'll Stand by You". Jessica has a nice voice but she was in and out of pitch throughout but with some training and the right material I could probably listen to her sing. Simon indicated she made the song interesting but his body language was saying something else. Randy indicated some pitch problems. We don't actually hear the vote but Jessica emerged with a golden ticket.

Paul Stafford is next. He is a maintenance worker at a ball park. He tells the judges he is a member of the American Roller Coaster Enthusiasts. Paul throws in his metaphor that American Idol is like a roller coaster, can I throw up now! Paul goes with Elliott Yamin's "Wait for You" and it sucked. I wish I could use a different word but it sucked. Paula states he was very joyful (not in my world). Randy states this isn't right for him. Paul goes home without that golden ticket.

Beth Maddox is our next contestant and of course she loves Kelly Clarkson and would love to be just like her, my mind turned off, blah, blah, blah, blah. Beth is a singing waitress and tackles Kelly's "Beautiful Disaster". Oh help us please, another finger's on the chalkboard moment, it was in a very high octave, it was at least over quickly. Simon asks what her tips are and she indicated $30 to $90.00 a night. She must sing in a bar type restaurant and the customers are drunk or they are paying her NOT TO SING! Beth leaves without a golden ticket and America sighs with relief.

We are then presented with another montage of the very bad and they were. Enough said!

Alaina Whitaker comes up next. She is 16 years old and has been compared with Carrie Underwood. Alaina goes with Faith Hill's "Stronger". It was okay barely. Alaina looks good and has excellent stage presence but she can't win unless she pumps it up. Maybe she was just nervous and hasn't shown the depth of her ability. Simon advises her she isn't as good as she thinks she is. Alaina offers to sing Celine Dion but thankfully the judges say no. Paula thinks she has a good instrument but needs to work on her breathiness but somehow she manages three yes votes and is on her way to Hollywood!

Gregory and Mia Tobias are next and I don't even know how to describe this audition. It was just surreal, bad, and they weren't even singing the same song or at least it didn't sound like it. It was a very silent no for the Tobias's.

We now have our next back story. 19 year old Bruce Dickson advises us he has never kissed a girl or had an "intimate relationship" with a woman and I should care because? We are told at the age of 13 his dad gave him a key to symbolize saving himself for his future wife which Bruce wears around his neck while his dad has the heart around his neck and when Bruce gets married his dad will give his bride the heart. There was something totally bizarre about this. It was creepy. Ryan tells Dad that he'll be in trouble if Bruce meets a girl in Hollywood and asks Ryan to have his son's back but Ryan states he would not be a good influence because he kissed a girl today. Give me a break, can we just sing and get it over with. Bruce has to tell the judges the story again. Bruce chooses "Ain't No Sunshine". Once again it is alright but nothing to write home about. Simon states it sounds okay in this room but won't work on the radio or TV. Paula doesn't see who he is an artist. No golden ticket for Bruce. Bruce asks for advice and Randy tells him to "kiss some girls" and Simon tells him to "avoid Ryan on the way out."

Pia "Zpia" Easley is up next. She is a model and another back up singer. She has an interesting hairdo including a colorful mohawk, okay I hated it. Zpia goes with "I've Got to Use my Imagination". Once again she is fine, it wasn't horrible but it didn't wow me. Simon fines her interesting and likes her. Paula wants to hear more of her range. Zpia gets a golden ticket.

Brandon Green is next. We have another person with an unusual hobby of collecting his fingernail clippings, yes fingernail clippings and he had them in a plastic bag with him. GROSS! Brandon advises the judges he wants to be a positive influence unlike Brittany or Paris. Once again, blah, blah, blah. Brandon chooses "Rich Girl". It was another unremarkable performance but it wasn't totally suckie either. Simon thinks he is forgettable, Paula likes him, and Randy likes the tone of his voice. Paula advises him to make eye contact and not to be afraid of Simon. Brandon advises he thinks Simon is honest. Well naturally Simon's opinion is he shouldn't go to Hollywood but Paula and Randy disagree so Brandon and his fingernails are on their way to Hollywood.

We are then presented with another big back story. Kayla Hatfield lives on a farm with her kids. When she was 18 she was in a car accident and suffered multiple facial injuries and lost the use of one eye but when she woke up in the hospital she was just happy to see out of one eye. I think I am just tired or I am now a truly jaded human being because these stories are not moving me. Kayla is a shiny, happy person with her outfit of many colors. She advises the judges being a survivor fits well with being an American Idol. Kayla chooses "Piece of My Heart" another of my favorite songs. I don't know if I liked this or not. I may be distracted by the whole back story thing. It wasn't awful but it didn't make me jump up and down with joy. Her weird growling was a turn off that is for sure. Simon says he want to be her for an hour a day because she is so happy. Simon notes that rock and roll singers should be "slightly mad, in a good way" and gives her a yes. Paula likes her personality and thinks she can sing, but she's working too hard on getting the gravel in her voice. Paula says no (shocker!) Randy says she had some pitch problems but he liked the growling and says yes.

We get a few more bad contestants in that quick montage.

The final contestant for the first day is Kady Malloy. Kady can do "vocal impressions" and sings like Britney Spears, in fact she may have been better then Brittany. Kady chooses "Before He Cheats" but Simon stops her and tells her to sing as herself. Kady then chooses "Unchained Melody" and it wasn't half bad. There was a really nice tone to her voice. Randy likes her voice better then when she was impersonating, Paula says she has talent. Simon tells Kady she is the best of the season so far and says he has a feeling about her. Come on I don't remember where Dallas fits in the original audition schedule but the season hasn't really started. Kady gets her golden ticket to Hollywood.


We are up to Day Two and once again Ryan has to remind everyone that Kelly was discovered in Dallas, give it a rest will you.

Douglas Davidson who is 28 and barely getting to audition in time doesn't want to hurt his voice so he was not cheering. Douglas relies on an article about Christina Aguilera saying you can damage your voice if you don't sing well. Douglas also claims his dad said he hated him after hearing him sing well. This is not going to go well I am sure. We have to watch and hear Doug do some vocal exercises in the audition room. Doug goes with "Living on a Prayer", didn't he watch Bon Jovi night come on. As predicted it was a train wreck. Simon asks what the hell was that. Randy tells him to take a deep breath and relax. Douglas drinks water and does his vocal exercises and Paula advises him they are on a schedule. He starts to sing what I am not sure saying he is building up. Simon tells him to cut the crap and Douglas pleads to sing something else which Simon says no to. Douglas of course keeps going and has to be escorted out by security but doesn't stop singing. No golden ticket for Doug.

Angela Reilly just got married to a model and tells the judges her husband helped her get ready for the audition by picking songs. The judges ask her to bring in her husband, Chuck, a cute model but apparently he has a tin ear. He says Angela should start with "Baby Love". It was not good but according to Chuck she was awesome (what is he going to say to his bride, you suck - he will find himself kicked out of the bedroom and cut off). She gets another song and the second number was worst then the first. Chuck gets to pick another song and he goes with "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". The second number was worst then the first. Simon asks Chuck if he would buy his wife's album and naturally Chuck says yes; Simon tells him he is lying. Randy states it was karaoke and Paula advises her while they like her she is not going to Hollywood.

We now get to watch Kyle Ensley's back story. He makes good decisions and has good character. He's a junior in college majoring in political science and wants to use music to entertain and inspire. His goal is to be governor of the State of Oklahoma. Kyle chooses Queen's "Somebody to Love" another of the songs I adore. I have to say Kyle wasn't too bad, he was actually in tune. It wasn't a wow moment but I didn't go screaming from the room. Simon is pleasantly surprised and gives Kyle a yes. Randy felt like he was at a glee club or a frat house and says no. Kyle states he would choose American Idol over politics, please who wouldn't. He would do anything to get to Hollywood. Simon asks him if he would do weird things with his hair or wear red leather jackets like Clay Aiken. Kyle promises no. He can't be worse with that yellow shirt and red tie! Paula says what the heck and says yes. Kyle gets his golden ticket to Hollywood and Paula tells Randy something called niceness came over her.

Tammy Tuzinski (not sure if that is spelled right or not) gets way too much air time with her no personality and the amount of pausing between words, speed it up please. Tammy wants to tackle Celine Dion; have these people not been paying attention - you can't out do Celine. She says she is going to do "The Power of Love" but after beginning she asks if she can start again and this time she goes with "If you Ask me To" and it was just friggin atrocious! She was like a lump of coal. She is asked how she did. Tammy states she gave it her best shot but thinks the judges will say no. Simon agrees and Randy says she is nice but that was awful.

Colton Swon is next. Colton indicates he plays guitar, drums and bass. He plays in a band with his broker. He goes with "Boondocks." Colton wasn't too bad either, he was in tune, nice tone. I am not convinced he can go all the way to the American Idol crown. Paula indicates he did well but needs to perform to his audience instead of closing his eyes. Simon says it was okay but there are guys singing like that in bars all across the country. Randy likes Colton. Colton gets a yes from all the judges. He asks them to give out a different answer so as he is leaving the judges are shouting it is a no, etc. Of course his family is relieved when he pulls out the golden ticket! If Colton makes it through it will be on his looks. I can see all those young teenage girls texting away.

We then get a montage of the men auditioning who are dressed as women and are singing in really high voices. One contest encourages men to wear dresses. Perhaps Texas is more liberal then I thought, NOT! The producers are just shameless for showing these.

Drew Poppelreiter (spelling again) gets lots of air time. He introduces us to his family and tells us he is a farmer. We get to watch him drive a tractor and move hay bales around while his family rides horses. Drew's mom says he always wanted to farm but then fell in love with singing. Drew advises singing while on the tractor keeps him sane. He has never been on a plane. Farming is in his blood but you have to sacrifice to get want you want and he can do it. Drew chooses "Check Yes or No" by George Straight. Drew wasn't too bad but once again he didn't blow me away. We have another cute guy who could have been in a boy band for sure. Those teenage girls will love him. Simon says no. Randy likes him and Paula says he is who he is but she didn't get a wow factor from him. Paula says yes and agrees with Randy. Drew gets that plane ride to Hollywood.

Kyle Reinneck (spelling again) is next. Kyle is Mr. Guyliner, yes he prefers this term as opposed to eyeliner. Kyle advises he is a counselor and brought a poster with photos of his kids to the audition room. The kids signed his shirt as well. Kyle chooses "Never Again". He is awful. Kyle asks to sing something else but they say no but he ignores them of course. Kyle gets a big fat no and has to head back to his kids.

Ryan once again reminds us that Dallas is where we found Kelly. Enough all ready. We are then given a montage of contestants singing "Since U Been Gone" very badly.

Next up is Nina Shaw who is from Kelly's hometown of Burleson, Texas. What did I say, enough already about Kelly! Nina chooses "Run to you" by Whitney, again does no one watch this show, it is always number 1 in the ratings. People clearly have short memory spans. It wasn't a train wreck but it wasn't stand up and give her a standing ovation either. Simon says the performance was old-fashioned, overdone and cabaret. Paula says it was pageant like. Nina gets another number and goes with "Feelin' Good", this was a little better. Randy likes her jazzy side, saying that stuff is popular again. Simon disagrees and states there is a difference between retro and old-fashioned. Paula says yes so Nina is going to Hollywood.

We are now up to the final contestant of the day. I was so distracted by his white hat with angel wings and that silver lame cloak that I didn't even catch his name to write it down but he has to be a train wreck to come anyway. After entering the audition room Paula asks why Simon's name is on your hat? Hell I didn't even notice that. He answers that it is because everyone talks about Simon. Simon cracks up and Paula pretends to pound her head on the table. Our contestant is doing is own original song, "All of Us Our Brothers Forever". He is a good performer but a horrible singer. This whole audition went on way too long, Randy and Paula, along with Ryan all come and join the contestant dancing and singing along to what appears to be the only lyric in the song. Luckily in the end it is a big fat no but Simon does quip that this will probably be a best selling song. Heaven help us!

Dallas auditions are over and 28 people received their golden ticket to Hollywood.

Next Tuesday we will be visiting San Diego which was the first audition city. We are now down to hour long episodes.

See you next week!

American Idol Season 7 - Audition Episode 1 - 1/15/08

American Idol is back and all I can say is YEAH!

I was so doing my happy dance before I sat done to watch the shows via tape and overall they were fun shows to watch. We had the train wrecks and there were a few interesting contestants who got the golden ticket, there was the banter between the judges, (I do have to say Paula was unusually lucid and her remarks were for the most part pretty damn spot on), and those ridiculous montages of the really, really bad.

I always find interesting they never do the audition cities in the order they were actually held.
On with my comments about Tuesdays show. I will send my comments about last night's show in a separate e-mail or it will be too long.

Tuesday, January 15th - Philadelphia

According to Ryan, Philadelphia had the largest turnout of all American Idol auditions (I am not sure I would believe that). We had to get the montage to the song, "Philadelphia Freedom". They couldn't be more original although I suppose "The Streets of Philadelphia" might not be as upbeat. I digress.

Our first contestant was Joey Catalano. It was impressive that Joey lost 205 lbs. but I am not sure he was Hollywood material. Joey sang "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5. It was okay at least I wasn't cringing. At least he didn't dance for the judges. Joey received an unanimous yes from the judges even after Simon indicated he was nervous about whether or not he's a star. Hollywood here comes Joey!

Next up for our viewing pleasure was "Youka" who has immigrated from Egypt. How special that Youka states the Bee Gees make him feel "so special." What was up with that? We won't even get into how he described the feelings he had for his girlfriend. This audition went on way too long with all the crap about the judges trying to figure out how to pronounce his name. I did laugh out loud when Youka talked about his love for Paula, what a great singer and dancer she was. Simon's eye roll was perfection. How surprising, Youka chose a Bee Gee's song, "How Deep is your Love." Naturally it was terrible and it was song with no feeling. Paula advised him she was impressed with how he phonetically learned the songs. I was impressed Paula could use such a big word. Luckily for all of us it was a unanimous NO!

We then had Melanie whose claim to fame is she was once a backup singer for Taylor Hicks. Melanie chose "Unwritten" and I just did not like it at all but she managed to get a golden ticket to Hollywood.

James Lewis is next. He works as a tour guide in Philadelphia. James naturally feels he will bring something new to the table (Please this is the first sign the person is going to be absolutely horrible)! He compares himself to Eddie Vedder and his outfit, oh my god, PLEASE! James chose "Go Down Moses". Another train wreck and in the worst way. He was trying to sing he a very, very, very deep voice it was surreal. Paula and Randy were laughing very loudly and Simon just had his oh my god what is this look. James offered to sing something else. Luckily it was a no but Randy and Paula did apologize for laughing. Why, he deserved to be laugh at.

We then had some quick auditions, Nick Stano truly murdered "Unchained Melody" in what was a very unusually high, squeaky singing voice. Sybil White was next and I couldn't understand what she was singing at all, it was horribly screechy and Simon had his first outburst in telling someone to shut up! We then had Zhengzhong Yu who was just boring and totally out of tune.

Junot Joyner was next and he sang Elton John's "That's Why They Call it the Blues" and it was actually pretty good. Mr. Joyner also got an unanimous yes from the judges and the golden ticket.

Jose Castenga was up next and say "Unbreak My Heart" and this was good as well and he is also going to Hollywood.

Jonathan Bains who is 17 was next and I forgot to write down what he sang. I liked him and I agreed with the judges sending him to Hollywood.

We then had to suffer through the story of Temptress Browne. The producers know how to milk these types of stories and from the very beginning it was obvious how this was going to turn out. I am starting my rant again about the names parents saddle their kids with. Temptress, please! She is 17 years old and a very large woman. She plays high school football as a linebacker. Temptress is singing for her mother who is there of course, another seriously large woman using oxygen. Naturally Temptress has to pick a song which is not an easy one to sing, she refers to it has "I'm Not Going Nowhere" but is in fact "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going". The poor woman cannot sing, it was off pitch, she didn't have the breath support for the number. It was a total friggin' mess. Of course she gets the big no and Temptress starts crying and wailing that she can't go out to her family without the golden ticket. The judges hug her and indicate they will walk her out. Simon gets to break the news to the family and we have to have the big family moment. Enough of this and let's move on. I don't want to seem heartless but this is one time the producers should have said no and not let her through to the judges but we can't have that, we need the audience crying for the ratings!

Mark Hays is the next victim and how exciting he can make cricket noises, wow what a great thing to be able to put on your resume. I know I am a cynic. Mark auditions with "White Christmas", which is so wrong. Naturally he sucks so he goes home empty handed.

Udi is next and while Ryan says we "need a dose of Udi", I could have done without it. We get to learn that Udi incorporates music into the workplace and once lead a meeting wearing Elvis glasses. How original? I am sure that was an interesting financial meeting. Udi chooses "My Way" and he did it his way all right, badly. He was monotone and totally off key. Simon found it slightly disturbing. No golden ticket for Udi.

We then had the montage of really bad singers trying to perform "I Love Rock and Roll". I am not sure I will be able to listen to that song again without seeing that montage of misfits.

Alexis Cohen, Miss Glitter girl from Allentown. She advises the judges there is a song about her town by Bon Jovi (oh my god, your from there and you don't even know it was by Billy Joel - she should have gotten kicked out for that alone). Alexis fancies herself to be a rocker chick. Her audition song is Pat Benatar's "Somebody to Love". I personally thought it was horrible and luckily she got the no. She initially took the no very well but unfortunately then Alexis left the audition room and was the first contestant they showed cursing Simon, flipping everyone else, then her mother got involved, and Alexis advised us if she could legally moon Simon on camera she would. I didn't know mooning someone on screen was illegal. There are lots of movies they show on regular TV where there is a mooning scene and it isn't cut. Come on don't be such a wimp, if it was too bad they would just blur it out. In addition she has now decided she would go into "actressing". This went on way too long!''

For the last contestant of the first day of Philly auditions before the judges we have Angela Martin. She is a single mom with a daughter who has Rett's syndrome. Another back story to pull at your heart strings. I don't want to seem mean because I can sympathize but I just am not moved by these stories on American Idol. The one bright spot out of this story is that Angela actually has a good voice. Angela auditioned with "Signed, Sealed, Delivered. I totally agree with the judges that her singing for a wedding band has provided her with some terrible habits but with the right training and producer I believe she has a very marketable voice. The judges grant her a yellow ticket to Hollywood.

On day two we start out with Alyse who auditions with "Feelin' Good". Excuse me Alyse but let's tone it down just a bit. We had a screamer here and it was in a really high pitch as well. Another song I like butchered. Oh joy!

We get a couple quick auditions with Teresa and Brandi who also sing loud and very bad as well.
Now we have another moment I could have done without. Milo Turk, age 39, clearly over the age limit of a contestant who we are told begs Ryan to let him perform before the judges and of course we let him you cheesy producers and you know who you are. Milo feels his songs should be heard by the masses. Milo does one of his own songs, "No Sex allowed". I can't even describe how bad this was both musically and lyrical. He offers to sing the second and third verses but the judges advise him they get it and Milo leaves having managed to get his 5 minutes of fame!

Next we have a bright spot in the auditions and look she is from Oregon, you go girl! Kristy Lee Cooke from Selma Oregon. She lives in a log cabin and is part of the great American Family. I have to say Kristy is definitely a pretty woman. She is a kick boxer and cage fighter as well as an accomplished horsewoman. She had to sell one of her horses so she could pay for her chance to audition. Somehow I think it would have been cheaper to go to San Diego then Philadelphia but what do I know. Kristy auditions with "Amazing Grace" and it was amazing, pun intended. Her voice was excellent and I am looking forward to hearing more. Simon likes the country tone of her voice and sincerity, Paula admires her control and tone while Randy liked the idea of the cage fighting. Simon did tell her to find more confidence but Kristy got her yellow ticket to Hollywood.

Ben Harr comes strolling in a black cape and how I could think was we were going to get a chorus of 'I'm A Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania" the cloak came off but instead we have the Princess Leia, I am Jabba The Hut's slave girl costume. Ben could just not pull off this outfit. Paula can't get past the hairy chest. He offers to get it taken off and she says sure, he can wax his chest hair and come back. What people won't do for their 15 minutes of fame, shameful!

Pedro Rivera is up next and he does some very quiet muttering. Waste of time of course.
Shekhinaha (I don't think it is spelled right but I couldn't take notes fast enough) auditions with "America the Beautiful". I couldn't get past the boa and this was my fingers on the chalkboard moment. Poor Simon, "it's pointless".

We then get a montage of contestants cussing the judges because they just don't understand their talent and how unique they are. We are all unique individuals because it is what makes us, us but not everyone has singing talent and while I sing I know that I suck so I say these people need to get over it and they can get a tape of themselves on TV and live happily ever after.

Paul Marturado is next. This was one unusual audition. Mr. Marturado has written a special song for Paula, I will refer to it as The Stalker Song. It was totally creepy and he definitely looked like a serial killer with that stare of his and Paula encouraged him just a bit too much, they should have had security take him out quite a bit sooner especially with lyrics like breaking into her house and stealing her underwear, "I'm not a talker so I guess I'll just stalk her, if you were a blackboard, he'd chalk her, if she were a tub, he'd caulk her and if she were Columbo, he'd Peter Faulk her and he went on from there. Simon orders him to leave but he wouldn't so he calls the security guards over. If I was Paula I would be getting a restraining order.

We then have Beth Stalker, yes I am not kidding, it was she was next and the producers edited in for obvious reasons. Beth is barely getting in because she is 28. A stay at home mother who sings at night. Beth chose one of my many favorite songs, "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered". She sang it pretty well, it wasn't a wow performance but she was in key and had a nice vocal tone. Simon doesn't think she'd stand out but Beth gets a yes from Randy and Paula so she is off to Hollywood.

Oh no, Ben is back and of course we have to see a video of his hair being ripped off his chest like Steve Carrell from "The 40 year old Virgin". Now standing in his Princess Leia slave costume with no chest hair, he begins to sing badly and I didn't write down the song if I even heard the title, he didn't even get more then a couple words out before Simon tells him to leave, it is a no! As he leaves, Paula pops off with "You know that hurt", well no kidding! Simon zings back with "All because that fat lump wants to be on TV." Well DUH!

Chris Watson is next and he wants to be a legend. Chris chooses "Follow Me" and surprisingly he has a good voice, very nice tone. Simon says he looks like a star and has an interesting recording voice. Randy likes his sound as well and advises him to take some chances (until they backfire and he says you should stick to what you do well). Chris gets a golden ticket to Hollywood.
Next we have another montage of rejected contestants and I am glad they didn't show more of those auditions.

What is up with Philadelphia. Christina comes walking in with her Princess Leia (i.e the bun look) and a Star Wars belt. She advises us when she has children their names will be inspired by Star Wars. I realize it was the 30th anniversary of the first film last year but come on. Naturally Christina has to vocalize that men love her. She is unique, America wants something different. Christina's audition song is "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me.". Why oh why oh why. Her voice sucked, it cracked, she was out of pitch, it was pitiful. America needs her, they want a goofball, she is taking back the word "dork". As she is leaving Simon says "Give my love to the wookie.".

Our last contestant from Philadelphia is Brooke White. She is a nanny. Brooke advises us she has never seen an "R" rated movie and all I can say is "poor child". It was her parent's rule and she now makes it her rule as well. Give me a break. She doesn't drink or smoke (sounds like a line I delivered from a play once, I am down with the no drinking and smoking because I don't partake in those either). Brooke chooses "Just Like A Star" and I will give Brooke credit she also has a very nice voice. Randy loves her purity, Simone thinks she is sincere (and that is after an aside about her husband watching R movies and more on his computer) and wants to lure her over to the dark side (now Simon what will your girlfriend think). I am not sure she can win but I agree with the judges chose to award her a golden ticket.

Episode one is over.

Overall I thought the producers did a much better job in balancing the good and the bad. 29 people got golden tickets to Hollywood in Philadelphia and we saw 10 of them which is a better percentage then usual.

You will probably get my blog about Wednesday's episode tomorrow!

"Sing-a-long Grease" - Good Time, Bringing People Together

I have experienced the “Sing-a-long” versions of The Sound of Music, the Wizard of Oz and Mary Poppins. While each was fun in its own way nothing compared to my experience from last night, Friday January 4, 2008 at Cinema 21.

While many of the sing-a-longs were well attended, last night’s opening was completely packed. The age range was from very young to very old. People came in poodle skirts, leather jackets and a few into some very tight spandex of varying colors along with some other interesting costumes.

The crowd was rowdy but not in a bad way. Everyone was there to have fun. It was like a community of sorts.

Even before the movie started and we were being instructed in what to expect, the explanation of our goodie bag (sunglasses, comb, party poppers, candy cigarette, glow stick, and bubble maker) and suggestions on where to use them during the movie every member was attentive and going with the flow. There was a costume contest; audience claps declared the winners of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

We practiced a little singing and surprisingly the audience knew all the words without the prompts which occur during the movie. We all practiced doing the hand jive as well.

I don’t know what it was but it was like every person was in sync, like we were one mind like a Vulcan mind melt.

Once the movie started so did even more fun. There was the swelling “Love is a Many Splendor Thing”, the big kiss between Danny and Sandy and we were then off to Rydell High and all the high jinxes.

From the moment the song “Grease” started to the very end the entire audience was in sync with the singing and all our movements, dancing, using of the props, it was a totally mystic experience.

I had fun, really a lot of fun. Now I am a big musical theater/movie queen and I sing a long at home and silently in the theater or movie house but here we were loud and we were of one voice.

It was truly a heavenly, exhilarating, and mystical experience.

Who could of thought that a movie musical could do such a thing, bring so many people of different cultures, ages, experiences and put us together and everyone was open to the joy of the experience without any issues.

It was an evening filled with surprise but ultimately sheer joy and fun.

If you have a chance to catch this sing-a-long experience I highly recommend it. You will not be disappointed.

All is can say is:

We go together like
rama lama lama ke
ding a de dinga a dong
remembered for ever like
shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop
That's the way it should be
Wha oooh yeah!
We're one of a kind
Like dip di-dip di-dip
Doo-bop a doo-bee doo
Our names are signed
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy
Shoo-by doo-wop she-bop
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop
We'll always be like one
Wa-wa-wa-waaa!

American Idol Season 7 Schedule

10 days and counting before Season 7 - I can't wait!


"American Idol" returns with a two-night, four-hour premiere featuring outrageous new auditions and unbelievably great talent Tuesday, Jan. 15 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) and Wednesday, Jan. 16 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on Fox. And in the coming weeks, top 24 singers will be revealed: top 12 male singers and top 12 female singers.

First LIVE Results show airs Thursday, February 21. Judges Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell return to the show with host Ryan Seacrest.

Episodes featuring the auditions held across the country in San Diego, Dallas, Omaha, Atlanta, Charleston, Miami and Philadelphia will air on four consecutive Tuesdays including: Jan. 15 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT); Jan. 22 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT); Jan. 29 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT); and Feb. 5 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT). "American Idol" auditions will continue on Wednesdays: Jan. 16 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT); Jan. 23 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT); Jan. 30 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT); and Feb. 6 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT).

The lucky hopefuls who get the judges’ approval move on to the Hollywood Round, which will air Tuesday, Feb. 12 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) and Wednesday, Feb. 13 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT). On Wednesday, Feb. 13, dreams come true for 24 contestants, as Simon, Randy and Paula announce the Top 12 male and Top 12 female semifinalists.

Then it will be up to America to decide who moves forward in the competition. The first performance show featuring the Top 12 male singers will air Tuesday, Feb. 19 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). The following night, Wednesday, Feb. 20 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), the Top 12 female singers will perform.

A LIVE results show revealing America’s first vote of the season will air Thursday, Feb. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT), when the two male and two female contestants with the fewest votes will be sent home. For the next two weeks, the males will perform on Tuesdays, the females on Wednesdays and the LIVE results show will air on Thursday nights. Therefore, the Top 10 male singers will perform on Tuesday, Feb. 26 (8:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and the Top 8 male singers on Tuesday, March 4 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT). The Top 10 female singers will perform on Wednesday, Feb. 27 (8:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and the Top 8 female singers battle it out on Wednesday, March 5 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). Four contestants, two males and two females, will be eliminated from the competition on the LIVE results shows airing Thursday, Feb. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) and Thursday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed).

The Top 12 Finalists will be revealed Thursday, March 6 (8:00-9:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed).The competition heats up as the Top 12 Finalists take the stage for the first time together on Tuesday, March 11 (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed). One contestant’s journey will end as America’s vote is revealed on Wednesday, March 12 (9:00-9:30 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed).

RECAP (All times ET/PT)
Tuesday, Jan. 15 (8:00-10:00 PM) Season Premiere, Part 1
Wednesday, Jan. 16 (8:00-10:00 PM) Season Premiere, Part 2
Tuesday, Jan. 22 (8:00-9:00 PM) Auditions Episode
Wednesday, Jan. 23 (8:00-9:00 PM) Auditions Episode
Tuesday, Jan. 29 (8:00-9:00 PM) Auditions Episode
Wednesday, Jan. 30 (8:00-9:00 PM) Auditions Episode
Tuesday, Feb. 5 (8:00-9:00 PM) Auditions Episode
Wednesday, Feb. 6 (8:00-9:00 PM) Auditions Episode
Tuesday, Feb. 12 (8:00-10:00 PM) Hollywood Round, Part 1
Wednesday, Feb. 13 (8:00-9:00 PM) Hollywood Round, Part 2 Top 24 Semifinalists Announced Tuesday, Feb. 19 (8:00-10:00 PM) Top 12 Male Singers Perform
Wednesday, Feb. 20 (8:00-10:00 PM) Top 12 Female Singers Perform
Thursday, Feb. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM) First Results Show (ET live/PT tape-delayed) Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off
Tuesday, Feb. 26 (8:00-9:30 PM) Top 10 Male Singers Perform
Wednesday, Feb. 27 (8:00-9:30 PM) Top 10 Female Singers Perform
Thursday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM) Results Show (ET live/PT tape-delayed) Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off
Tuesday, March 4 (8:00-9:00 PM) Top 8 Male Singers Perform
Wednesday, March 5 (9:00-10:00 PM) Top 8 Female Singers Perform
Thursday, March 6 (8:00-9:00 PM) Results Show (ET live/PT tape-delayed) Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off; Top 12 Finalists Revealed
Tuesday, March 11 (8:00-10:00 PM) Top 12 Finalists Perform
Wednesday, March 12 (9:00-9:30 PM) Results Show (ET live/PT tape-delayed) One Contestant Voted Off