American Idol Season 7 Audition Episode 2 - 1/16/08

American Idol visits Dallas, Texas for the second audition episode.

This is the city where Kelly Clarkson was discovered as we heard ad nuseam on Wednesday evening. Randy and Paula even piped in during one of the final auditions taking all the credit for passing through Kelly. Paula reminding Simon that during the Hollywood round he told them both he just did not get her.

I adore Kelly Clarkson but I don't have to hear about her every two seconds. Enough all ready about Kelly, let's get on with the auditions for Season 7.

Interesting way to start an episode with a very large drag queen telling us that everything's bigger in Texas. Enough with those jokes and did I have to see a mug of the current president which always makes me sick.
This is suppose to be entertainment not horror.

The auditions haven't even started and we start off with one of the contestants going into labor while in line and having a baby. I am going to rant again, she named it Idol. Give me a break, how ridiculous. Kids should be able to sue their parents over crap like that where they end up having to pay for legally changing their names. Okay I feel better now that I could rant a little.

Our first contestant has to have another one of those pull the heart string stories. Jessica Brown, 24 year old stay at home mom with two kids. She is okay now but use to be a meth addict and was arrested, etc. When she was in recovery she sang, Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel." She cried it was so emotional and the song was meant for her. We have her mother in the video explaining she is back to who she is.Jessica chose "I'll Stand by You". Jessica has a nice voice but she was in and out of pitch throughout but with some training and the right material I could probably listen to her sing. Simon indicated she made the song interesting but his body language was saying something else. Randy indicated some pitch problems. We don't actually hear the vote but Jessica emerged with a golden ticket.

Paul Stafford is next. He is a maintenance worker at a ball park. He tells the judges he is a member of the American Roller Coaster Enthusiasts. Paul throws in his metaphor that American Idol is like a roller coaster, can I throw up now! Paul goes with Elliott Yamin's "Wait for You" and it sucked. I wish I could use a different word but it sucked. Paula states he was very joyful (not in my world). Randy states this isn't right for him. Paul goes home without that golden ticket.

Beth Maddox is our next contestant and of course she loves Kelly Clarkson and would love to be just like her, my mind turned off, blah, blah, blah, blah. Beth is a singing waitress and tackles Kelly's "Beautiful Disaster". Oh help us please, another finger's on the chalkboard moment, it was in a very high octave, it was at least over quickly. Simon asks what her tips are and she indicated $30 to $90.00 a night. She must sing in a bar type restaurant and the customers are drunk or they are paying her NOT TO SING! Beth leaves without a golden ticket and America sighs with relief.

We are then presented with another montage of the very bad and they were. Enough said!

Alaina Whitaker comes up next. She is 16 years old and has been compared with Carrie Underwood. Alaina goes with Faith Hill's "Stronger". It was okay barely. Alaina looks good and has excellent stage presence but she can't win unless she pumps it up. Maybe she was just nervous and hasn't shown the depth of her ability. Simon advises her she isn't as good as she thinks she is. Alaina offers to sing Celine Dion but thankfully the judges say no. Paula thinks she has a good instrument but needs to work on her breathiness but somehow she manages three yes votes and is on her way to Hollywood!

Gregory and Mia Tobias are next and I don't even know how to describe this audition. It was just surreal, bad, and they weren't even singing the same song or at least it didn't sound like it. It was a very silent no for the Tobias's.

We now have our next back story. 19 year old Bruce Dickson advises us he has never kissed a girl or had an "intimate relationship" with a woman and I should care because? We are told at the age of 13 his dad gave him a key to symbolize saving himself for his future wife which Bruce wears around his neck while his dad has the heart around his neck and when Bruce gets married his dad will give his bride the heart. There was something totally bizarre about this. It was creepy. Ryan tells Dad that he'll be in trouble if Bruce meets a girl in Hollywood and asks Ryan to have his son's back but Ryan states he would not be a good influence because he kissed a girl today. Give me a break, can we just sing and get it over with. Bruce has to tell the judges the story again. Bruce chooses "Ain't No Sunshine". Once again it is alright but nothing to write home about. Simon states it sounds okay in this room but won't work on the radio or TV. Paula doesn't see who he is an artist. No golden ticket for Bruce. Bruce asks for advice and Randy tells him to "kiss some girls" and Simon tells him to "avoid Ryan on the way out."

Pia "Zpia" Easley is up next. She is a model and another back up singer. She has an interesting hairdo including a colorful mohawk, okay I hated it. Zpia goes with "I've Got to Use my Imagination". Once again she is fine, it wasn't horrible but it didn't wow me. Simon fines her interesting and likes her. Paula wants to hear more of her range. Zpia gets a golden ticket.

Brandon Green is next. We have another person with an unusual hobby of collecting his fingernail clippings, yes fingernail clippings and he had them in a plastic bag with him. GROSS! Brandon advises the judges he wants to be a positive influence unlike Brittany or Paris. Once again, blah, blah, blah. Brandon chooses "Rich Girl". It was another unremarkable performance but it wasn't totally suckie either. Simon thinks he is forgettable, Paula likes him, and Randy likes the tone of his voice. Paula advises him to make eye contact and not to be afraid of Simon. Brandon advises he thinks Simon is honest. Well naturally Simon's opinion is he shouldn't go to Hollywood but Paula and Randy disagree so Brandon and his fingernails are on their way to Hollywood.

We are then presented with another big back story. Kayla Hatfield lives on a farm with her kids. When she was 18 she was in a car accident and suffered multiple facial injuries and lost the use of one eye but when she woke up in the hospital she was just happy to see out of one eye. I think I am just tired or I am now a truly jaded human being because these stories are not moving me. Kayla is a shiny, happy person with her outfit of many colors. She advises the judges being a survivor fits well with being an American Idol. Kayla chooses "Piece of My Heart" another of my favorite songs. I don't know if I liked this or not. I may be distracted by the whole back story thing. It wasn't awful but it didn't make me jump up and down with joy. Her weird growling was a turn off that is for sure. Simon says he want to be her for an hour a day because she is so happy. Simon notes that rock and roll singers should be "slightly mad, in a good way" and gives her a yes. Paula likes her personality and thinks she can sing, but she's working too hard on getting the gravel in her voice. Paula says no (shocker!) Randy says she had some pitch problems but he liked the growling and says yes.

We get a few more bad contestants in that quick montage.

The final contestant for the first day is Kady Malloy. Kady can do "vocal impressions" and sings like Britney Spears, in fact she may have been better then Brittany. Kady chooses "Before He Cheats" but Simon stops her and tells her to sing as herself. Kady then chooses "Unchained Melody" and it wasn't half bad. There was a really nice tone to her voice. Randy likes her voice better then when she was impersonating, Paula says she has talent. Simon tells Kady she is the best of the season so far and says he has a feeling about her. Come on I don't remember where Dallas fits in the original audition schedule but the season hasn't really started. Kady gets her golden ticket to Hollywood.


We are up to Day Two and once again Ryan has to remind everyone that Kelly was discovered in Dallas, give it a rest will you.

Douglas Davidson who is 28 and barely getting to audition in time doesn't want to hurt his voice so he was not cheering. Douglas relies on an article about Christina Aguilera saying you can damage your voice if you don't sing well. Douglas also claims his dad said he hated him after hearing him sing well. This is not going to go well I am sure. We have to watch and hear Doug do some vocal exercises in the audition room. Doug goes with "Living on a Prayer", didn't he watch Bon Jovi night come on. As predicted it was a train wreck. Simon asks what the hell was that. Randy tells him to take a deep breath and relax. Douglas drinks water and does his vocal exercises and Paula advises him they are on a schedule. He starts to sing what I am not sure saying he is building up. Simon tells him to cut the crap and Douglas pleads to sing something else which Simon says no to. Douglas of course keeps going and has to be escorted out by security but doesn't stop singing. No golden ticket for Doug.

Angela Reilly just got married to a model and tells the judges her husband helped her get ready for the audition by picking songs. The judges ask her to bring in her husband, Chuck, a cute model but apparently he has a tin ear. He says Angela should start with "Baby Love". It was not good but according to Chuck she was awesome (what is he going to say to his bride, you suck - he will find himself kicked out of the bedroom and cut off). She gets another song and the second number was worst then the first. Chuck gets to pick another song and he goes with "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". The second number was worst then the first. Simon asks Chuck if he would buy his wife's album and naturally Chuck says yes; Simon tells him he is lying. Randy states it was karaoke and Paula advises her while they like her she is not going to Hollywood.

We now get to watch Kyle Ensley's back story. He makes good decisions and has good character. He's a junior in college majoring in political science and wants to use music to entertain and inspire. His goal is to be governor of the State of Oklahoma. Kyle chooses Queen's "Somebody to Love" another of the songs I adore. I have to say Kyle wasn't too bad, he was actually in tune. It wasn't a wow moment but I didn't go screaming from the room. Simon is pleasantly surprised and gives Kyle a yes. Randy felt like he was at a glee club or a frat house and says no. Kyle states he would choose American Idol over politics, please who wouldn't. He would do anything to get to Hollywood. Simon asks him if he would do weird things with his hair or wear red leather jackets like Clay Aiken. Kyle promises no. He can't be worse with that yellow shirt and red tie! Paula says what the heck and says yes. Kyle gets his golden ticket to Hollywood and Paula tells Randy something called niceness came over her.

Tammy Tuzinski (not sure if that is spelled right or not) gets way too much air time with her no personality and the amount of pausing between words, speed it up please. Tammy wants to tackle Celine Dion; have these people not been paying attention - you can't out do Celine. She says she is going to do "The Power of Love" but after beginning she asks if she can start again and this time she goes with "If you Ask me To" and it was just friggin atrocious! She was like a lump of coal. She is asked how she did. Tammy states she gave it her best shot but thinks the judges will say no. Simon agrees and Randy says she is nice but that was awful.

Colton Swon is next. Colton indicates he plays guitar, drums and bass. He plays in a band with his broker. He goes with "Boondocks." Colton wasn't too bad either, he was in tune, nice tone. I am not convinced he can go all the way to the American Idol crown. Paula indicates he did well but needs to perform to his audience instead of closing his eyes. Simon says it was okay but there are guys singing like that in bars all across the country. Randy likes Colton. Colton gets a yes from all the judges. He asks them to give out a different answer so as he is leaving the judges are shouting it is a no, etc. Of course his family is relieved when he pulls out the golden ticket! If Colton makes it through it will be on his looks. I can see all those young teenage girls texting away.

We then get a montage of the men auditioning who are dressed as women and are singing in really high voices. One contest encourages men to wear dresses. Perhaps Texas is more liberal then I thought, NOT! The producers are just shameless for showing these.

Drew Poppelreiter (spelling again) gets lots of air time. He introduces us to his family and tells us he is a farmer. We get to watch him drive a tractor and move hay bales around while his family rides horses. Drew's mom says he always wanted to farm but then fell in love with singing. Drew advises singing while on the tractor keeps him sane. He has never been on a plane. Farming is in his blood but you have to sacrifice to get want you want and he can do it. Drew chooses "Check Yes or No" by George Straight. Drew wasn't too bad but once again he didn't blow me away. We have another cute guy who could have been in a boy band for sure. Those teenage girls will love him. Simon says no. Randy likes him and Paula says he is who he is but she didn't get a wow factor from him. Paula says yes and agrees with Randy. Drew gets that plane ride to Hollywood.

Kyle Reinneck (spelling again) is next. Kyle is Mr. Guyliner, yes he prefers this term as opposed to eyeliner. Kyle advises he is a counselor and brought a poster with photos of his kids to the audition room. The kids signed his shirt as well. Kyle chooses "Never Again". He is awful. Kyle asks to sing something else but they say no but he ignores them of course. Kyle gets a big fat no and has to head back to his kids.

Ryan once again reminds us that Dallas is where we found Kelly. Enough all ready. We are then given a montage of contestants singing "Since U Been Gone" very badly.

Next up is Nina Shaw who is from Kelly's hometown of Burleson, Texas. What did I say, enough already about Kelly! Nina chooses "Run to you" by Whitney, again does no one watch this show, it is always number 1 in the ratings. People clearly have short memory spans. It wasn't a train wreck but it wasn't stand up and give her a standing ovation either. Simon says the performance was old-fashioned, overdone and cabaret. Paula says it was pageant like. Nina gets another number and goes with "Feelin' Good", this was a little better. Randy likes her jazzy side, saying that stuff is popular again. Simon disagrees and states there is a difference between retro and old-fashioned. Paula says yes so Nina is going to Hollywood.

We are now up to the final contestant of the day. I was so distracted by his white hat with angel wings and that silver lame cloak that I didn't even catch his name to write it down but he has to be a train wreck to come anyway. After entering the audition room Paula asks why Simon's name is on your hat? Hell I didn't even notice that. He answers that it is because everyone talks about Simon. Simon cracks up and Paula pretends to pound her head on the table. Our contestant is doing is own original song, "All of Us Our Brothers Forever". He is a good performer but a horrible singer. This whole audition went on way too long, Randy and Paula, along with Ryan all come and join the contestant dancing and singing along to what appears to be the only lyric in the song. Luckily in the end it is a big fat no but Simon does quip that this will probably be a best selling song. Heaven help us!

Dallas auditions are over and 28 people received their golden ticket to Hollywood.

Next Tuesday we will be visiting San Diego which was the first audition city. We are now down to hour long episodes.

See you next week!