AI 9 1-20-10 Orlando

On 8/12/09, the space shuttle launches while American Idol is visiting Florida. Cue the theme music from the World of Disney as Orlando is the place where 10,000 delusional, wait, I mean hopeful people want to launch their chance to have their dreams come true.

There are 10,000 people waiting to audition but where are the judges. Ryan, Randy, and Simon are boarding a plane in Miami after some fun in the sun along with some all night partying. Will they make it in time? The suspense is killing me – NOT!

Kara is ready to rumble and since guest judge, Kristin Chenoweth is ready to go the “girls” bond and become lifelong BFF’s. How sweet! There doing everything together.

Cue the introduction montage of Kristin Chenoweth the darling of the America Stage. Kristin has won a Tony and an Emmy – Bitch! Kidding I adore Kristin and she has a powerful voice. I was lucky enough to see her in “Wicked”. She was on one of the most underrated shows “Pushing Daisies” and recently was a guest star in an episode of “Glee”.

Well this blog is not about Kristin so I need to move on to dishing the episode. What is wrong with me, I mean evaluating the contestants.

Day 1

Theo Glinton (22) attired in sequins on top of wearing miniature mirrors and glitter over half his face. Theo feels beautiful and will clearly dazzle the judges. I see train wreck ahead for us all. Simon asks Theo where he will be in ten years with Theo enthusiastically replies running a corporation of hair salons. I thought we were here to find the next American Idol. Theo is going to give us the ole razzle-dazzle via “Heartbreaker”. Gracious what is that loud screaming, oh yes, it is Theo singing? The tone of his voice was irritating. The judges say no but at least we know Theo has another career to fall back on.

We have an hour to fill so let us cue another montage of how much fun Kara and Kristen are having annoying Simon who is a bit weary after partying in Miami. This montage includes more people walking out without their golden ticket. It appears Orlando has hit a rough spot.

Seth Rollins (28) has two children; Samuel who is five has autism and nine-month-old daughter Faith. Seth loves his son but with this diagnosis, things are hard for the family. He would like to afford special care for his son. Please tell me the producers are not exploiting Samuel for maximum sympathy by showing him throwing a tantrum and crying because he cannot go with his dad into the audition room. I say shame, shame, and shame. Seth is auditioning with “Someone to Watch over Me” and surprise, surprise has a nice, rich voice. I love the tone and he really has control. Seth was rather dull but he can learn performance skills. The judges were very enthusiastic with “you made it your own”, “I want to keep hearing you”, and “you know who you are”. Seth is heading to Hollywood.

Cue more filler montage as we “wish upon a star” as we reach for our golden ticket.

Jermaine Purifoy (24) is here for another chance at the golden ticket after failing to make it through during season 7 but he knows what he wants. Jermaine tackles Tony Bennett but I did not catch the song title. I thought he had a nice voice but I was not wowed by it or anything. Jermaine demonstrated a good range though. The judges disagree with me with praise including “pure, seamless sound”, “best we have heard all season”, and “has an honest voice”. Jermaine is heading to Hollywood.

It is 7:00 p.m. on day one with one final contestant waiting for their chance. Shelby Dressel (18). I guess her mother loved “Steel Magnolias”. Shelby was born with an undeveloped seventh cranial nerve so the right side of her face is paralyzed leaving her unable to smile normally. Shelby tells us she is very nervous. Shelby chooses “Turn Me On” and she has a very nice voice. She was on pitch and had great enunciation. Shelby clearly was nervous. There was a lack of excitement in the audition at least until she forgot the words and swore. Kristin believes she has potential and Randy thought she was cool. Simon says yes with a small “y” while Randy, Kara, and Kristin say yes as well.

Day 1 ends with 18 people getting golden tickets while we see only three. What is wrong with this picture?

As we move to commercial cue the montage of unnamed contestants waving their golden tickets.
Day 2

New York beckons Kristin so there will be no guest judge. I wanted to hear Kristin sing.

Jay Stone (25) goes with “Come Together” and is “beat boxing” and it was getting annoying and frankly was all over the place. I did not like it at all. Kara loved Jay and immediately says yes while the other judges are on the fence. Jay then sings “Ain’t No Sunshine” and Ronald sat up and listened. When Jay just sang he had a wonderful rich tone and had perfect pitch. Simon votes no but Kara convinces Randy so Jay is heading to Hollywood.

Cue video montage while we “get our party on” which includes a quick shot of three women getting their golden tickets. They were Janell Wheeler, Brittany Starr James and Kasi Bedford.
Cornelius Edwards (24) explains he learned some moves from his exotic dancer friends. Corny goes with “Proud Mary” and all I can say is this was not the worst I have heard. I did not like his voice but he was keeping on pitch. During his performance he does the splits which was amazing, however, he ripped his pants with the move causing the judges to start laughing and apparently they were losing oxygen because he gets three yeses and is going to Hollywood. Excuse me!

Wow, how unique, two sisters are auditioning together – NOT! These two sisters from Jersey are the living, breathing examples of why I detest MTV’s “Jersey Shore”. They do performances every morning and work in a salon. They explain to the judges that they are both equally talented. Bernadette DeSimone (27) goes with “Hit the Road Jack” and is okay but I would not rush out to purchase a CD. Amanda DeSimone (23) clearly does not watch the show or read my blog because she goes with Whitney’s “I Wanna Dance with somebody” but for me it was like “I want to hurl but quick”! Poor Amanda could not find the pitch if it hit her on the side of the face. Torture is my word of the night! WTF the judges are passing them on to Hollywood. The DeSimone sisters are going down in Hollywood.

Jarrod Norrell (28) explains he needs energy and enthusiasm to survive the judges, which is the exact opposite of his demeanor. Jarrod sings, oh wait, butchers “Amazing Grace. Jarrod is bad with a freaking capital B! I laugh as Kara tells him he sounds like a lawn mower and is clearly upset with the judges. Poor Jarrod refuses to leave and wants more time to murder the song. Security finally arrives to escort him out but still he refuses forcing them to take him out in a very unpleasant manner as we watch him on the ground in handcuffs. Poor Jarrod needs treatment of some sort.

We are reaching the end of day two, it is 6:00 p.m. and we get more filler video about Orlando being the “City of Hope”.

Matt Lawrence (25) left home at the age of 15 for “adventure” finding it while robbing a bank with a BB gun ending in prison missing four birthdays. (Matt can go visit Jarrod and explain the ropes). Matt wants a chance to redeem himself before his family. Matt sings “Trouble” and Ronald is happy because finally we have a contestant who can sing and that is sing with a capital S. I thought Matt’s voice was wonderful and what freaking control he has over his instrument. Matt has talent and the judges sing his praises with “brilliant”, “you can really, really sing”, “authentic”, “believable”, “genuine”, and “loving the controlled high notes”.

Our time in Orlando concludes with 31 receiving their golden ticket and we see 12. What is up with this picture?

Ryan reminds us Orlando is truly “the happiest place in the world”.

“LA we love it” is our motto for next week when American Idol returns home with guest judge Katy Perry.

Until next week and I hope to be more timely with my reviews.