AI 10 1-27-11 Nashville

Cue video montage where Darius Thomas is attempting to impress our judges with a long, high note of epic portions and not in a good way. This leads to Ryan hearing him outside, all the contestants waiting hear him, the entire city of Nashville hear him, and then we have footage of a glass building implosion from this high note and then cut to the new high tech introduction.

The opening introductions for the shows this season have been strange to say the least, what are the producers smoking. Enough all ready!

American Idol is visiting Nashville the home of country music for the second time in ten seasons. There were initially 10,000 people with hope and searching for their dream but now they are spilling out into the streets of Nashville as the number rises to 17,000. The contestants are here to find the same success as Carrie Underwood who recently added Grand Ole Opry member to her list of accomplishments.

The contestants are filling up Stone Bridge Arena while the judges are at the historical Ryman Auditorium.

Let the fun begin as we evaluate last night’s contestants.

Day One

Christine McCaffrey a dental assistant from West Palm Beach explains she has a gift people respond to which is her happy smile. As Christine walks to the audition spot she is making cartoonish noises, I figured she might be trying to warm up her voice but they were downright weird. The judges ask whether she does voice over for cartoons.

Christine goes with “I Hope You Dance” which Jennifer tells her is a beautiful song, however, what came out of Christine’s mouth was not beautiful at all. I found her tiny voice irritating and the melody was completely lost during the performance. Jennifer cuts her off and asks for a vote, which is a unanimous no. Christine wants a chance to try a different song because she has the ability to write lyrics and sing them. Randy asks her if she can read minds. Christine believes Randy is saying yes. Randy simply asks her to leave because he does not believe she is being serious.

On exiting the room, she is living in a fantasy world when she explains to Ryan that she received a yes from Steven Tyler. I am convinced she was not faking which is frightening.

Our next contestants are Chelsee Oaks and Rob Bolin who are exes but are here auditioning together. Is this a producer trick? It appears after they broke up they remain “friends” and lived together for a while with Chelsee even bringing dates to the house. It is clear that Rob is still in love with her and remains clueless of what a manipulative person she really is. Chelsee brings her current boyfriend to the audition.

The judges clearly prepped on their situation have decided to play relationship counselors. The judges request they first sing together with the “couple” going with “To Love Somebody” as chosen by Rob. I must admit that as a duet their voices were beautifully in sync and the harmonies perfection.

Rob is then first in his solo audition with “What’s going on” which was excellent. I thought the choices he made were right. I thought he had a nice soulful quality to his voice and it was definitely on pitch. Chelsee chooses “The Story” which is fine but her voice is not very strong.

The judges indicate they were impressed. Randy loves how they were able to sing so well given the emotions going on. Jennifer says they sing beautifully when separate and together. Steven digs the deep harmony between them. He tells them “the deepest passion comes from friction.” The judges give them both golden tickets to Hollywood. Steven tells them to “Get out of here and fall in love together all over again.”

In the holding room I got the best laugh in watching the current boyfriend’s expression when he learned they were both going to Hollywood, it was priceless!

Cue the next video montage as we see two unnamed contestants auditioning. There was one woman in a truly tacky and trashy outfit while the other woman indicates she can touch her tongue to her nose and after the demonstration, Steven says yes. Ronald just feels dirty!

Allen Lewis decked out in overalls and massive tattoos hailing from Franklin Furnace, Ohio. Really? Allen just happens to be a tattoo artist. Allen auditions with “Simple Man”, he pretty much screams and shouts the entire song where we lose the melody, and his ability to enunciate was lost because all I heard was a series of mumbles. Jennifer tells him he has one of the best laughs she has ever seen. I did not know you could see laughter as opposed to hearing it. Randy tells him he is more of a band type. Allen thanks them and explains he loves criticism because it will make him work harder and given even the best have failed their auditions once or twice.

Stormi Henley and folks I am not making up the name. Stormi is 19-years-old former Miss Teen USA and she was thrilled to have Donald Trump as her boss during that time. Please stab me with a knife now because this cannot be ending well. According to Stormi, the confidence coming from her prior victory convinces her she should be here.

Stormi goes with “Father Can You Hear Me” and I only hope he is unable to do so. I found her voice irritating and it was difficult for me to hear her, I had to increase the volume on my television seat. There was nothing exciting about her performance, the tone of her voice; she was a zero in my estimation. Jennifer agrees with me telling her that her voice is not strong enough. Steven on the other hand lovers her tight little slinky voice but feels she needs to throw it out harder. Steven I know exactly what you love – you old pervert! Randy is on the fence but sadly gives in so Stormi is on her way to Hollywood.

After Stormi leaves, Jennifer shows her disapproval by asking “Seriously, guys? That may be the smallest voice we have heard.”

Cue the next video montage, which started very bizarre almost as if we had missed the beginning. We see a series of contestants clearly deluded about their talent being told they are not going to Hollywood.

White parents adopted Adrienne Beasley who is African-American at the age of two. I do not understand how this can be a back-story in the 21st century. Get over it folks. A loving couple adopted a child they wanted and clearly nurtured her while they were working on the family farm.

Adrienne auditions with “American Honey” and her voice is honey to the ears. I really loved her rendition of the song and she had excellent pitch and enunciation. Steven says, “I hear something in your voice. I am not quite sure what it is.” Randy says it was very, very nice while Jennifer says you surprised me in the middle because you really felt it. Adrienne receives a unanimous yes and his heading to Hollywood.

In the holding room, she calls her Dad to explain she is going to Hollywood and he replies, “Who is going to pay for it” before telling her, he is tickled about the news.

Day 2

Welcome back to Music City as Ryan explains it is early morning and everyone is getting ready for the day.

Kameela Merrick is our first contestant who explains she was selected as the junior regional soloist of Oak Grove, Kentucky in light of the huge voice coming out of her 5’2” frame.

On entering the audition room, the judges greet her with “tonight”. Good heavens producers you need to be more careful in your editing. Kameela chooses “Sweet Thing” to audition with it. Trust me there is nothing sweet about her voice or her ability to control it. The volume was way over the top and she was off the melody the entire time. All I could think is she must have been the only junior who lives in Oak Grove.

Jennifer reminds her that the acoustics work no matter what. Steven tells her to go home and practice. Randy simply tells her do not do even that, it was horrible and loud. Kameela leaves without her golden ticket. As she is leaving Steven leans over and whispers to Randy, “Do not tell people they are no good.” Excuse me if it is the truth better they learn now then allow the enabling individuals in their life to encourage their delusion.

Our next video montage includes three contestants living in a cuckoo word of delusion. The first is covered in a blue bodysuit, which covered their face. We also had Polina Kozhikova and Patrick Counts. All three were told they had no chance of succeeding and were leaving without a golden ticket. There was further time wasting because as Patrick left he broke down crying into Ryan’s arms and then just could not stop crying. Give me a break!

Jackie Wilson who is a bar manager in Nashville is nervous as the lack of golden tickets keep piling up. According to Jackie, she has been ready for this moment since she was three years old. This is her last chance as she is now 28 years old, which is the maximum age limit. Jackie sings “Until You Come Back to me” and I was not impressed at all. I found the entire performance unpleasant and she did not hit the money note. There was nothing, which demonstrates I am the next American Idol.

It appears I do not understand the music business because the judges were singing her praises and send her to Hollywood. Ronald is just shaking his head in confusion.

Latoya Moore or as she likes to be called “Younique” claims to be a 26-year old recording artist from Nashville who sees herself as a star because people see a glow about her. Heaven help us. “Younique” comes into the audition room and offers one CD to the judges. A self-created CD does not make you a recording artist my dear!

“Younique” goes with “When I Close My Eyes” and I simply wanted to close my ears to the painful screeching coming from her. This was a ridiculous waste of time. Steven praises her uniqueness while Randy states her tone is not good and it was just annoying. “Younique” does not go quietly as she tries to make her case. The judges are adamant, however, “Younique” sings herself out. Scary!

Cue the next video montage, which are three men who are going to Hollywood with their golden tickets. They are Paul McDonald with a rendition of “Maggie May”, Jimmie Allen, and Danny Pate with “Papa was a Rolling Stone.” The clips were short but what I could hear they did sound good.

Matt Dillard hails from Cheatham County; Tennessee hopes to be the next star. His family has taken in over 700 foster children over the years many with special needs. They are proud to see these children go from being sick to being full of life. Matt wants to make his foster siblings proud. Matt chooses “You Raise Me Up”. I did not feel his audition would warrant his going to Hollywood. He was extremely sharp for most of the number.

Matt who auditions in overalls tells them he can pretty up as he takes his cap off. Jennifer says she needs a better audition and votes no. Randy votes a small yes and hopes he is not swallowed up in Hollywood. Steven is on the fence but ultimately votes to provide him a golden ticket.

Our final contestant is Lauren Alaina who has been pimped throughout the entire episode. Will her back-story be in the same league as Chris’s from Milwaukie? Lauren is from Rossville, Georgia and considers herself a typical 15-year-old girl who loves to sing. Her cousin Holly is like a sister to her and is the reason she is auditioning. Holly had a brain tumor requiring chemotherapy and Lauren cries at the possibility of losing her. Luckily, Holly is a survivor and is there to support Lauren.

The judges request she bring Holly into the audition room. Lauren goes with “Like We Never Loved at all” and it was good but there was no wow for me. My big issue was Lauren has issues with breath control. The judges adore her and explain she is the best they have seen all day. Really? The judges provide a golden ticket.

Lauren tells them her family is so excited to meet them so the entire family enters and the judges ask her to sing again. Lauren chooses “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” and Steven is forced to join in. I will admit this performance was better than her first song.

We wrap up Nashville without even revealing how many golden tickets left the Ryman Auditorium.

Next week we are off to Austin, Texas. I continue to look forward to the fun antics of Mr. Steven Tyler and each episode I am finding the charisma and star power of Steven and Jennifer to grow on me. The judge’s panel is heating up and who would have thought Steven is becoming the pussycat and Randy the hammer.

I must continue my rant about the names of the contestants they are killing me. My spell checker is going crazy and trying to pronounce some of them will be difficult.

Until next week…