AI 9 4-13-10 Let Me Entertain You NOT!

Two contestants must fall. The pressure is mounting. Are you ready? This is AMERICAN IDOL!

There is no way to sugar coat my distain for the producers and director of American Idol this season. I do not like negativity and always worry about karma returning the negativity back to me but these producers are idiots. The pacing, the ridiculous filler is a detriment to the actual contestants. Contestants performing during the last 28 minutes of the show were cheated because of the ridiculous digressions during the first hour of the show (Ryan’s mother indeed).

Here are my reasons why the show fell apart last night:
· The announcement of the judges and our host remains unnecessary filler.
· Ryan Seacrest has to be on drugs as it is the only explanation for his “erratic” and “bizarre” behavior. “My tongue is not nearly as talented as yours…!”
· There is no need to interview the guest mentor because there will be plenty of video montages of them during the show.
· I do not give a flying f*^k the “Glee” cast was in the audience. There were enough promo commercials during the 88 minutes. For the statisticians among you there was a total of 10 minutes devoted to commercials for “Glee”. Believe me my irritation is with the time wasting not with “Glee” because watching “Glee” was more important than American Idol.
· Mr. Producer what does Adam Lambert have to do with Elvis Presley. The theme chosen should at least have some marginal connection with the mentor.
· Las Vegas tribute show about Elvis Presley should not be the inspiration for our current crop of contestants. This was a stupid move forcing the infamous “lounge lizard” comparison.
· 13.5 minutes of singing in an 88 minute show. The contestants should have more time, which would lead to a more comprehensive arrangement of the song they choose.
· The judges are either drinking or are stone cold deaf because it is the only explanation for their crazy comments and suggestions. Where is Paula when you need her because at least she was entertaining?
These are but a few of my many irritations with last night in particular but the entire way the producers are directing what Ryan referred to as “being in the machine” of American Idol.
Let us dish the contestant’s performances from tonight’s show.

Crystal Bowersox – “Saved”

I love Crystal because every time she steps on the stage it is like being at her concert. This was an awesome performance. Crystal sang well, showed some personality and clearly was having fun. The energy was fantastic and for the first time neither the backup singers nor the band interfered with her. I thought she was struggling at the beginning with pacing issues but recovered quickly. Overall Crystal rocked the stage. Thank god, Crystal is part of this competition.

Randy – This is the way to come out and start the night. Dude I loved the energy. It was the dope. This could be on a record. I think this was like the second coming of Bonnie Raitt.

Ellen – Fantastic.

Kara – I like the way you switched things up and brought some drama.

Simon – You did not choose an obvious song. You put your own slant on it and you did not fall into the karaoke trap, which I am expecting tonight. It sounded great.

Andrew Garcia – “Hound Dog”

This was a boring performance and I thought Andrew sucked out the soul and meaning of the song with the ridiculous arrangement. The vocals were okay but everything else was not working so who cares.

Randy – This was bad karaoke. I did not like it.

Ellen – I wanted to see more swagger but you pulled it off and I liked it a lot.

Kara – Elvis owned the stage and you did not. The mike was your crutch. There were some places where you made some nice changes to the melody but we needed more swagger.

Simon – This was lazy. It was like parts of a musical no one wants to listen to. There was no star performance. Sorry I did not get it.

Tim Urban – “I Can’t Help Falling In Love”

I did not like this at all. I certainly did not hear what the judges heard and Tim cannot stay on pitch at all. They spent all of that time in the video about hitting the high note but then in the performance Tim does not even try to go for it. Why give a tease if you are not going to follow through? I did enjoy Tim’s guitar playing though. I do not believe Tim connected with the song or sold it either.

Randy – I liked it.

Ellen – Babbles on about drinking tequila, after the first shot you do not like it but after many shots, you do. This is the same with you. I really enjoyed that.

Kara – This is my favorite Tim performance ever. You were authentic, real, you sang from the heart and you made it current. Well done.

Simon – You went from zero to hero in two weeks. I liked the guitar and the clean vocals. You have taken our advice very well.

Lee Dewyze – “A Little Less Conversation”

I enjoyed the vocal portion but not the overall performance. I have to agree with a friend of mine that I would buy and listen to Lee’s CD but would not go and see him in a concert because he has zero performance skills.

Randy – You are in the zone. Amazing. Very good dude.

Ellen – I loved how you made the song current and you show more confidence every week. You just get better and better.

Kara – You went for it tonight as you never have before. I just wish that you had been a little more playful.

Simon – This is about nailing the song and you definitely did that.

Aaron Kelly – “Blue Suede Shoes”

Of all the incredible songs to choose from Aaron picks this one. This was a stupid choice and Aaron could not pull it off. The song was too big for him. Aaron did not connect with the song, which means he could not sell it to the audience. I agree with the judges it was like watching a horrible, horrible school talent show. The ending sharp note was my finger down the chalkboard moment of the evening.

Randy – It started weird but half way through it got better.

Ellen – This is probably the most iconic Elvis song so you get an A for effort but you did not get all the way there.

Kara – I like that you got out of your comfort zone. You pushed yourself to the edge and were more current. I liked it.

Simon – I do not think that song made you current in fact it did the opposite. The arrangement was old-fashioned. This was like a high school concert. You were dressing up for a part.

Siobhan Magnus – Suspicious Minds”

I enjoyed the performance overall and Siobhan knows how to throw in a dramatic arc. The beginning was uneven with the bridge being too slow as if they had to squeeze it into the arrangement so it did not flow but the second half was spectacular. There was not a bum note in the entire performance and the issues between the first and second half lie with the arrangement.

Randy – You took some risks. The slower part is where you came alive and brought the big vocals, which is what I have missed. You can sing.

Ellen – I agree the second half was more fun. Beautiful voice.

Kara – It is as if you have two different voices and it is confusing.

Simon – This felt like it was from 20 years in the future. The first part of the song was terrible and you did not quite hit all the big notes. It was erratic and screechy. This was not one of your best performances.

Michael Lynche – “In the Ghetto”

I love this was a suggestion by Siobhan. The vocals were spot on but I did not like the arrangement and for me there really was no emotion demonstrated. Technically flawless but in the end the overall performance left me cold. Elvis's version is so haunting. He knew how to sell the meaning of the song with inflection and use of certain pauses. I just did not feel this from “Big Mike”.

Randy – I feel like the song was a little sleepy but the vocals were hot.

Ellen – I am glad we saved you.

Kara – The song was beautiful and you sang it well, brilliant.

Simon – It was a billon times better than last week and one of my favorite performances you have given.

Katie Stevens – “Baby, What do you want me to do?”

Color me surprised because I really liked this performance. I think this was Katie’s best vocal performance ever. She sang it well, she had a little attitude, and it was entertaining.

Randy – Nice vocals.

Ellen – This is a very horny song. No, there are many horns in it. Man you can sing.

Kara – You sure showed us judges. Good job.

Simon – I found it loud and annoying. The audience likes you so my opinion does not really matter.

Casey James – “Lawdy Miss Clawdy”

This performance did not thrill me and I certainly do not believe Casey deserved the pimp spot. The vocals were not spot-on and Casey cannot sing and play guitar well at the same time. It is one or the other with him. I was not buying this at all.

Randy – You were in the zone.

Ellen – I love your voice but this was not as exciting as I would have liked.

Kara – We know what you are capable of doing and you fell short.

Simon – This was a wasted opportunity considering the theme but the vocals were good.

I thought overall Adam was a very good mentor because he offered real serious feedback when he thought the contestants were not adequate and provided some excellent suggestions. Once again, though it is sad the contestants did not listen to him.

Elvis may have been a thrilling performer but last night certainly did not provide much entertainment.

I voted for Crystal, Siobhan and “Big Mike” exclusively.

My prediction for the bottom three are Siobhan (the judge’s comments are really hurt her), along with Aaron and Andrew.

I believe Aaron and Andrew will be going home tonight.

Until tomorrow…